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JulesP 
Not sure what to say really. I'm slowly working through the book 'Fearless' by Wayne Froggat, and feel better for trying to do something. I still have patches though where I just feel 'crazy'. The world doesn't make sense, and I feel dizzy and detatched and adrift. I get so scared that these are signs of mental illness of another kind, although I'm starting to suspect I have blood-sugar issues. It's been good to be in NZ with my family again, but I still get scared and don't know why. I have trust issues, and have been very hurt recently by someone I love and rely upon, and it's raised all the other trust issues that I thought had 'gone away'. Part of me suspects something happened to me when I was young (abuse) because my first memory is an unpleasant trip to a hospital or doctor for a gyn. examination. I was all of about 4 I think. I haven't got the courage yet to ask my mother what the memory means. It makes me feel ill. I'm just trying to learn to cope at the moment, and figure out where life will take me next.
I'm not sure how this whole thing works. I guess I'm hoping someone can give me some reassurance that I'm not going crazy. My main fear centres around having a much worse condition like schizophrenia. I get so freaked out and everything feels so unreal. I feel like nothing makes sense, and then I get terified that its because I have something more than just an anxiety disorder. I'm trying to use a book at the mo, called 'fear less' by someone Froggatt I think. I just want to know if other people have this fear and how I can gain some reassurance that my fear is unfounded...
