Crikey's Journal

OK, even though I journal regularly, I'll put it down here too. I don't even like to talk about what I went through when I was first being diagnosed with CFIDS. To put it short, I was harrassed due to my overwhelming fatigue, and while filing for short-term disability, they fired me. I'm still battling with the insurance company.

My sister doesn't understand the disease, nor does she choose to. Therefore, I have been assigned the task of looking after my 84 year old father with Alzheimer's. So much for keeping my stress to a minimum. Last year he did not know who I was and physically attacked me, tearing my rotator cuff and injuring the tendons in my right shoulder. I had surgery this November,  and I'm still doing physical therapy three times per week. The physical therapy really irritates the chronic fatigue. My muscles shake and spasm, and the physical therapist doesn't seem to believe in chronic fatigue and its symptoms.

Admittedly, my future seems quite bleak at this point. I do see a very good cognitive-behavioral therapist. My dad is on medication which has greatly improved his condition. However, he still requires 24 hour company. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going to collapse.

I'm just trying to keep up. Some friends help; but it is minimal. I pray for a miracle.