emotionallystunted's Journal

my hubby had an op last monday he had a hernia. he thought like most men i'll be up and around back at work in 2 days. i should be so lucky . he was off all week don't get me wrong i have been worried about him but it's the same old story, when i'm ill i don't see anyone for dust but when he's ill he needs pampering he needs to feel loved and attention. it is so draining. i had to keep telling him that i am worried i do love him but i have to work and take care of the kids and the house as well as him it's not so easy. he has to go to docs on friday because he had problems with his heart (which he's known about for a bit but didn't want to do anything about it,) while he was having op his heart was very irratic so we are both stressing out.

 my test results came back ok but i have got a broncal infection, i am on anti-biotics so if i had any infection the pills will have cleared it up. i have the day off work today so i'm trying to get everything in order like catching up with bills, getting boiler serviced etc.

i have been struggling with my eating i have been bingeing every day for the past few weeks. every day i say i can stop this, i need to stop it as i know thats why i feel ill all the time and it depresses me even more so i eat major vicious circle. it's just sooo hard for me i can't control myself. i hate myself so much i have even had thoughts of self harming but i know i won't cos i don't want to hurt myself thats probably why i binge rather than anything else as my control. i have to go now as i have to get shopping which i hate all that food it's so not fair.

hope you are all ok take care my chickadees much love xoxoxo