Journal

well hubby had to go to hospital on wednesday last week. he's been having chest pains and after his operation they discovered an abnormality in his heart so he spent 5hrs getting tests done. the doc says other than having high cholesterol everything seems fine. but on friday the cardiologist phoned they want to do more detailed tests so he has to go back to hospital a week this wednesday. he's really scared but he keeps stressing and causing arguements i know it transference but i am stressing too. had a little bit of a wobble and binged but i thinkg i'm back on track.

saturday night we went to cinema to see michael jackson this is it. you know what it was all that and more. it was really good for someone who was supposed to be ill he looked pretty fit to me. i still believe someone had him killed. anyway i really enjoyed it.

hope you are all doing ok i'm a bit tired but fine.

take care of you ma wee chickadees,much love always xoxooxox

feeling slightly better and stronger now i have given myself a good kick up the ass. i am starting again slowly. trying to eat sensibly (until hubby bought me huge bar of chocolate, he was trying to be kind as i was a bit queasey after my flu jab,) i've been walking alot more, going up the stairs to clients houses rather than using lift even though it feels like my lungs are collapsing and my legs are like jelly. as soon as i get up those stairs i feel good,alert and ready for the day ahead. i now know why i have been stressing out, hubby might be made redundant, my kids b'days are coming up, especially my daughters 18th and she has her driving test due. it's all money. i have to save up for a deposit for a new car, mines is so old it's got square tyres hehe! i don't have as many hours at work as i'd like and my friend has started beside me and she is telling all my clients and work collegues distorted personal details about me. i have made it clear to everyone that she can't be trusted and that if they want to know anything about me just to ask as i wouldn't like for them to think of me through her eyes. i don't know why she is jealous of me as she has the fancy house all the mod cons and my house always looks like i have just moved in and needs loads of work done on it.hubby says it's because she has no personality and the reason she has all those new things is to make up for her being really unhappy focusing on the material. all my clients have told her how much they like me and i think she wants to destroy that she is jealous as i get paid more and she is qualified. i am going into the office today and find out what else she has been saying. enough of the negative i got to get out of bed, do the housework,then me and kids are heading down town. can't believe they are on holiday again, not that it makes much difference to me as i will be working most of the week. so i am starting all over again one step at a time i know i can do this!

take care of you ma wee chickadees,much love xoxoxoox