Join Now
alaska71 
12:40am, December 19, 2008
A few weeks ago I thought I'd log on and give people hope that how easy it was to open up to somebody and tell them I had herpies. His response was he had it also, I took a moment and asked him "would you have told me if I wouldn't have mentioned I had it?" His response was "I was going to use a condom and I don't have a break out now" i let it go as he was pretty damb good looking and I hadn't been with someone for a long time. We had a great week before he left town as he was only here for work, figured I'd never talk or see him again, I was ok with that. Well 4 weeks later I'm pregnate. I just turned 37 have a 17 yr old son that graduates next year, he lives with me week on week off. I told myself I'd never have a kid out of wedlock again or would I have kids with different fathers. I know the decision I have to make and it's not a good one, I am so mad and disappointed with myself right now as I know once I have the procedure "abortion" my depression will sure kick in. I know I can't afford a child on my own and the dad is a totaly gypsy he would not be around to help physically or financially. I've text message him to call me and help me financially with this and I would never talk to him again, we'll see if I hear from him because to tell you the truth without help I could not afford the procedure on my own. I just found out today after work and I've been researching it and I know emotionally i'm going to regret this for the rest of my life but I know I could not give this child a home that it deserves. I know I"m making excuses and if theres a will there is a way. I know I would fail as a single mom. I have not nor will I tell anyone I'm pregnate and the procedure as I do not want to be judged as I'll be beating myself up enough. I had to write to help get it off my chest for a moment. Thx for listening and plz don't judge me as I really am a good warm hearted person and never thought I'd put myself in this situation.
Comments
No Judging..I know this is a difficult choice for you to make..a very difficult choice..all I wanted to say was my sister had an abortion a few years back and still regrets it to this day...I know it would be difficult because everyone will know you are pregnant..and ask you how you can do it..but can you consider adoption..Is that something you feel you can do??..Ther are sooo many good people out there that cannot have children that could give this child a happy home..I understand how hard it would be to carry it and then give it away..But i feel it would be better to deal with that than the other choice..just trying to help..thoughts and prayers are with you..hugs..write anytime you need to..take care
bsu