XxSkepticalxX's Journal

So as per usual i'm a BITCH and a FUCKING FAILURE!

Life is so stressful at the moment, I am doing the fucking best I can...I am doing so much FUCKING better than I have done in so FUCKING long!

I have gone from part time STUDY and no JOB to FULL TIME STUDY AND A JOB. MOST I HAVE EVER..Let me repeat EVER! Done in 4 years...

So you'd think people would give a bit of leway right??

NO! I AM JUST A FUCKING BITCH...

I am finding myself...Finding out who I am...THAT MAKES ME A SHEEP!!

Every step I take I am being cut off...DEAL WITH IT...Deal with LIFE cause it ain't going to change..WE I AM FUCKING SICK OF LIFE!! I AM FUCKING SICK OF DEALING WITH IT! I HATE THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS..How we are CONDITIOND to live! I am not used to the world yet, i'm new to the "REAL" world..Give me time...Yes I started late..I am getting there...I WILL eventually be able to handle it...Just be proud I am not slicing up my arms everyday and attempting suicide...Even though I wish I could sometimes...

Changed is not good enough..Changing I should say...HURRY UP AND BE CHANGED already!! It takes time...

I'm getting there slowly...DON'T PUSH ME!

This is who I am... I can't change tha..I don't want to change the fact I stick up for myself and I won't let people control me...I LIKE THAT! 

I hate how people judge me...YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING NO ME!

I just want to withdraw from everyone...What makes it worse at the moment is I can't listen to any FUCKING music which is what I really need right now...No one will look a bit deeper and see that my anger is from stress...That maybe I am not feeling my best at the moment...So everyone walks away..FUCK YOU!

just leave then...Don't understand...I AM NOT CURED!

I am getting there....Give it some more time...

UNDERSTAND...Even if you can't try to, pretend to, have PATIENCE!

Life....IT WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME....