DAY 1 This is the beginning of …
DAY 1 This is the beginning of what I hope will be the next best part of my life. I struggle with an addictive …
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msspecial 
I am so sick of so called friends and family playing the "I will tell you what I know, but you can't say anything" game. Or the, "yeah, I kicked him out, and yes he can still come and visit anytime, morning, noon or night, just can't live here anymore" and "now he isn't even allowed over here anymore, but I can't tell you why and break his trust." YOu would think and one would hope that these very same people would realize that if they had "broken Ricky's trust" 2 years ago when they first learned that he was using heroin just MAYBE we wouldn't be where we are right now. At 21 years old you would hope that one would have learned that a "true" friend will tell all they know to help the person they love. BUt NOOOOOOOO!!!! God forbid they should enlighten the only two people that have the means to help the most if anyone even can, his mother and father. THese are friend/family, you know, the kind of friend that your entire family and their entire family are so close that you actually call each other family when you really aren't. Anyways, I am rambling! I am venting! I am frustrated! I am pissed off! I am tired! I am hurt, crushed, overwhelmed and oh...........did I say PISSED!!!!! Do these people not realize by now that it isn't a game anymore. This is reality. Ricky is dying. Ricky needs help! I, his mother, need to know all that I possibly can, so I can do all that I possibly can to help. If I don't know what I am facing or up against, how can I possibly help? ARGH!!!!! Stupid people.Why is it that the people you are closest to always think that they know what is best for your child more than you do. Oh my gosh,,,,did I mention how pissed I am.
Okay, done venting. For those of you whom pray. Please pray that the people in Ricky's life who think they are helping him by keeping their mouths shut, come to the realization that the "secret" could kill him, and needs to be made known so it can be addressed. Thank you for listening (reading.)
I am going to appologize ahead of time in case I offended anyone. Not very Christian of me, I know, but I am so upset right now, and I just needed to write and get it out.
Thanks,
Margo
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Margo...you didn't offend anyone. Reading your journal was releasing some of my anger toward people!!! It is so so so frustrating playing that game where we tiptoe around the issue and hope that someone will spill the info. Not to mention everytime you are with someone you are wondering what do they know that I don't. Makes you want to shake someone or scream. Hang in there and shake a pillow and scream if you need to. And by all means, BE PISSED OFF!! You have that right. xoxoxo
mcar119
Oh, Margo, I am sorry that things are rough right now... But, remember: No matter what you do, the only thing that matters is if Ricky truly wants to be sober. When it gets to that point, he will get help. The only thing left to do is pray and pray and pray some more. I am sending you positive energy and love. Hang in there.
KelBel1
“Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.” - Saint Augustine
Just sent this to some friends, & after reading your journal thought u may appreciate it, too. Thx for the mssg, reply is on the way. Take care!---EveB
EveBlack
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your pain and I will pray for you and your son.
You have every right to be angry - venting on this site is the best place to get all of your frustrations out, so don't apologize. I'll will pray for you....
mom of 3