Join Now
irisross 
I am hoping by writing my feelings and my thoughts will help the healing process. Finding out that i was pregnant with my second child was so exciting. I never thought anything would go wrong. I had 2 dreams about a week apart that i was going to miscarry. Never thinking i would. I started to bleed on a thursday late a night. We called a friend who i love very much. She came and stay at my house to look after my daughter who was sleeping. We went to the hospital in halifax the QE2. They told me that nothing was wrong and that i had a infection. They set me up with an ultrasound. I had that went back to see a dr in the er. She told me that i was 6 weeks and 2 days and that everything was fine. But suggest i see my family dr. By the count of my last period i was 10 weeks. I called my fam dr. Told him and he couldn't figure out why they told me i was only 6 weeks. He tried the whole weekend to get the ultrasound reports. I called him monday and asked if was able to get the results. He asked if he could phone me back on his lunch break. I said ok. When he did i found out that the doctors at the er had lied to me. My pregnancy stopped at 6 weeks. And it was taking the 4 weeks to prepare my body to help get rid of it. I was so mad at the hospital. How could they lie to someone like that and make it that i was going to carry my baby to term. It's false hope. I am thankful for my family dr. He had told me monday that i would probably loose the baby sometime this week. Monday night at 8 the contractions started. They were so painful. Finally an hour and a half later it was all over with. My contractions stop. The baby was out. It was a bittersweet moment. I was happy that i had no more pain, but at the same time i lost my baby. I have a very supportive husband. He kept telling me i could do it and get through the pain. It is now 2 days later and i am home alone with my little one. I am finding it very hard as i have no one to keep my mind busy. But she's a very smart girl and is behaving rather well. I have a few friends that are pregnant and one friend just had one. I can barely talk to them as i resent them. They complain about the swollen feet. The sore back the lack of sleep. If they only knew what it felt like to loose a baby they wouldn't complain so much. I hope they never do. I wish this pain on no one. Most of the time i feel numb. I don't know how to feel. I hope this is a normal feeling. I do hope with time and writing these journals i will heal. I am not sure if i want to try for another baby. i am scared this may happen again.
Comments
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that this site will be a great source of support for you. I also a 2 year old daughter, who was born after my first m/c. I've just had a seond m/c this last week and am devastated. It makes me look at my daughter in a different light. Anyway, I'm here if you need to talk!
Tanzzie
I am so sorry you are going through this. If you need anything, to talk, whatever, I am here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
lvnikita