Journal

So much for thinking that the bleeding had stopped. It carried on today although not as bad as it has been. I really struggled today at work. I just felt down and very sorry for myself. My husband has been great but doesn't like talking about it, like it just didn't happen. So many things still going on in my head, counting down the days till Monday. Why am I so nervous to hear out loud what I already know??

It's day 10 since I started bleeding and it seems like it's slowly starting to stop. I have my next scan on Monday and I'm just dreading it. It's like I know what the outcome is going to be but actually hearing the words makes it so final and real. I hate crying in front of people, especially people who don't know me. You have to let these strangers into your life to deliver this heartbreaking news and then they don't know how to react to your reaction. Still, thank the Lord we have doctors and medical people who we can go to! I suppose it's just the coldness and "matter of fact"-ness of it all.

People have been really great, those that I've told. That's another thing. Now the next step is telling people what has happened and then having to listen to all the stupid cliches...