Journal

I haven't written a journal in a while. Well, I ended up having persistent cancer. No treatments were working. So I ended up having a total pelvic exenteration on July 6th. I now have two ostomies, a colostomy and urostomy. And I am alive.

When they "opened" me up they found that my cancer was much worse than it was 3 weeks earlier when they did a biopsy of the small tumor and exploratory surgery. It was bad, but it wasn't in the lymph nodes so they went on with the surgery and it was over 13 hrs long but successfu. Small price to pay to save my life. They said it wasn't looking good for me if I did not have the surgery.

Since the surgery, I was rehospitalized for a week for a nasty UTI. And then this past Friday I had  outpatient surgery to have my newly constructed vagina drained and debrided for a nasty infection, now I will need a skin graft to correct that. It had to be done because it was a bad infection, I have no more pain when sitting now. YAY!!!!!

I have lost way too much weight, at my lowest......just under 70 pounds, I was originally 125 pounds. When they weighed me before surgery I was estatic, I am up to 102.5 pounds!!! YES!!!!

I've had a bump in the road.. A routine rad/onco follow up the rad/oncologist saw a change in my scar tissue. It looked a little different. This could be many things other than a recurrence of my vaginal cancer. I had the biopsy on Thursday Dec. 18th and now I go in tomorrow for my PET/CT scan and chest xray which is a part of my follow ups, but they bumped them up 3 weeks earlier.

I am asking everyone to please pray that my biopsy comes back with benign results like necrotic scar tissue. The gyno/onco said that it could be many things, 1)necrotic scar tissue,

2)Precancerous changes (better than cancer!), 3)Infection, 4)Recurrence (PLEASE NO NO NO)

So once again I am spending the week of Christmas in emotional turmoil. Please say a prayer for me that these results are NOT CANCER and I have a normal PET/CT scan and chest xray. I would so appreciate it.

Well, I am only 39 and here I am in full blown menapause from my cancer treatments. Oh well. They have alot to say about the side effects of hormone replacement therapy. Here is one for ya.................MY BOOB ARE GETTING BIGGER! LMAO! All my life I go without and now at the age of 39 I am finally hitting puberty without the PERIODS! Gotta love it.

Although one person said to me that I had a real cheap boob job because I only have to take a pill. I had to remind them I had cancer and had to have about $80,000 in radiation and chemo treatments not counting the 2 exploratory surgeries and the 3 day internal radiation treatment. So where is the cheap part at? I had to go through a life altering experience which has forever changed the person I used to be. Most people just go to a plastic surgeon and pay a few grand for a bigger set. Not me. LOL