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sammers 
3:57pm Yesterday
I have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow. My shrink referred me to him, and I’ve been waiting to hear of a date. It’s funny, but in that wonderful limbo where I wasn’t seeing the shrink, and hadn’t heard from the new guy, I felt so normal. I was able to put it all out of my mind, and try and forget it all, but now I’m sat here at work freaking out because I’m dreading tomorrow so much.
I don’t feel strong enough to tell the story again. I don’t feel strong enough to hear what he has to say, and I sure as shit don’t feel strong enough to be doing anything other than hiding away right now. I would rather be anywhere than here at the moment.
I guess the way I felt normal was by just avoiding thinking of it. Now I’m being forced to think of it, I can hardly stand it. I feel very small and alone. I daren’t tell anyone that. What would they think ? There is noone I can talk to about this. I just have to tough it out.
I wish this would just go away.
What do you do when your courage fails ?
I don’t feel strong enough to tell the story again. I don’t feel strong enough to hear what he has to say, and I sure as shit don’t feel strong enough to be doing anything other than hiding away right now. I would rather be anywhere than here at the moment.
I guess the way I felt normal was by just avoiding thinking of it. Now I’m being forced to think of it, I can hardly stand it. I feel very small and alone. I daren’t tell anyone that. What would they think ? There is noone I can talk to about this. I just have to tough it out.
I wish this would just go away.
What do you do when your courage fails ?
Comments
Courage never fails....it just hides for a moment. It will never leave you Mark, you are a strong courageous man who has come this far, this is yet another nasty boulder on the road but you'll make it through bud. If there's anything I can do, let me know ok?
mynameis