Journal Entry for April 22, 2009
April 22, 2009 7:03pm
I'm feeling good. And by good I mean I feel in control of my life right now. I am so close to graduating I am actually feeling …
YofiEsha 
3:37pm, May 30, 2009
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About Me
YofiEsha
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About Me
Feeling confused as usual.
Feeling confused as usual.
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Interests
Umm ... coffee, quilting, crocheting, sewing, cats, fish, art, textiles, nature, (nature, nature, nature), Indian food, cooking, reading, scifi, fantasy, health care reform, most music (don't ask me about artists here, I don't know anything), NOT TV, playing card games of almost any sort, education, chickens, cheese and olives, organic anything, co-ops, hemp, .....
Umm ... coffee, quilting, crocheting, sewing, cats, fish, art, textiles, nature, (nature, nature, nature),
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Journal
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Journal Entry for March 21, 2009
March 21, 2009 12:54am
March is going swimmingly. I stopped taking birth control and feel great. I really think the hormones were negatively affecting my …
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Journal Entry for February 24, 2009
February 24, 2009 7:15pm
2009 has not been off to a good start. I am not really sure what is wrong. I called my therapist and left a message to set up an …
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Journal Entry for November 21, 2008
November 21, 2008 7:59pm
I'm feeling lonely. Not that that is new. I wonder why I often feel the need for consistant human contact. This week is …
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Hugbook
Ray of Sunshine
Thanks for the kind words, and I'm very happy to add you as a friend.
Hug
Continue to take one day at a time sweetie i am here for u if u need me xxx
Hug
so you in my friend group, so heres a big hug.
High Five
Excellent post in the "obama/mccain debate" thread!
Hug
Dear Yofi, Thanks for your recent reply to my posting. Yes my dear (I mean "dear" in an endearing, not condescending way), we do understand what you are going through. This is all a part of learning self-awareness and understanding the many facets to our condition. Yes, I too am still learning a great deal about myself and learning to accept these things that most see as a "stigma". Hang in there. You are not alone.... With love and respect, Jordan, aka spsailor
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Photos
YofiEsha hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionFormally diagnosed after my first od attempt at age 12. Been struggling since. Now new weird symptoms have popped up in the past few years and they haven't figured out exactly what's going on.
Treatments
- Effexor Somewhat Helpful
- Made me exhausted all the time, worked for a few months, but needed increasingly large doses for continued effectiveness. Also reduced my concentration capabilities
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- Worked for several months in conjunction with Abilify. Again lost its effectiveness over time.
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- The most side effects I felt with any medication, affected my sleep, weight, concentration,etc. Did not relieve symptoms to any great effect.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- One of the best ways for me to avoid suicidal ideation is to remember that the depression is not me, it is not a integral part of who I am, but a "possession" of sorts that comes over me and that I can work through.
- Prozac Not Working
- Used as a child. Did not work.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Has been more or less successful throughout the years. A lot depends on the connection with the counselor and one's ability to be open and honest.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- It is really great to be able to call up a friend and let them know I am not safe to be by myself and for them to talk to me over the phone, or just hang out in person.
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- I was only on this one briefly due to insurance reasons.
Close Self-Injury
I started self-harming as a young child, moved on to blades in jrhs and stopped in college. Occasionally tempted to relapse, but haven't in about 5 or six years. If you are seriously working on ceasing SH, please contact me I would love to support you.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Not Working
- Actually seemed to encourage me to experiment with more ways to harm myself.
- Red Marker Not Working
- This was pointless for me.
- Rubber Bands Not Working
- Really only encouraged me to want more pain.
- Willpower Working / Worked
- By being concious of each urge I experienced and identifying what was making me feel this way I was able to gradually resist urges more frequently. I havent cut since 2004.
Open Bipolar Disorder
Formally diagnosed in January of '08. Almost glad for the diagnosis, helps(ed) to put my life in focus, it is now easier to judge my moods and what is causing my more unusual behavior. I am better able to cope now.
Treatments
- Abilify Working / Worked
- Few side effects other than sleepiness, now off of it for insurance reasons
- Celexa Working / Worked
- Fan-friggin-tastic. Haven't been this functional in I can't remember when. Minimal side effects, on 20mg per day. I tend to use low doses of meds because I am a small person. I use this in conjunction with Perphenizine. (sp?)
- Risperdal Working / Worked
- Being on this one scared me because of the risk of tartic diskenesia (sp?) (tics).
Open Bisexuality
Continually questioning my sexuality seems to be the norm in my life. Just got engaged and now think it was a mistake. Cold feet? Oops I'm a lesbian? I don't know.
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