Journal

This month is the birth month of my grandson Jonah. He was born April 12th eleven years ago . I remember the day as my son was so excited to announce the birth of his only son. There were 2 daughters born earlier and the difference of age from the last sibling was 13 years. In short they became real "buddies" from the beginning. lThey played together,do the internet together and slept in same room together as the mother had to work nights at the hospital.

 Then the unthinkable happened, Jun collapsed and died suddenly at work in Camp Lejune, NC. on April 30,2001.

Jonah was three years old. He did not have a concrete idea of death. He waited for his Dad to come home.Everytime, the door opened, he asked "Is that Daddy ?" My grief was compounded with the grief being experienced by my daughter-in-law (young widow) and the three grandchildren. I could not describe the pain and agony that overwhelmed me. This is the second child that the Lord took home. All I could do was to ask the Lord to hold my hand so I would not go to the pit, to help me with His strength so I could support the loved ones left behind. It took that supernatural power to sustain me.

Through the years I used to dread the end of this month. Now I focused on Jonah, who is the spitting image of his Dad. I tried to connect with him by letters and occasional visits to Virginia where they live.  This Easter which also falls on this month was a day of reflection for me.Because I believe that Jesus resurrected from the dead to give hope to those who trusts Him, I received the comfort that someday we'll see Jun again. I shared this hope to all who were close to him.

 They say twins have special affinity with each other. They added ,they are one diviided into two. When Dina died, I was priveleged to meet with the late Elizbeth Kubler Ross, one of the great pioneers on Death and Dying. She informed me of the same phenomena because she, too was one of triplets. She further told me that if I wanted to know something about Dina, ask Diva, the survivor.Likewise, I have to watch and pray for the surviving twin because she experienced a very traumatic event. No wonder,Diva at the saddest time said'quote "I feel that half of me is dead."unquoth. She went into deep loneliness.

Every year as their birthday approaches, the family greets both of them. We say one is in heaven and one is on earth. This year, we encouraged Diva to write something special about her sister. It was published in our family network called "Lapira Family.Com". This was therapeutic for her.Since they were both spiritual, she was encouraged to read the Word, pray and remember the memories they built together.

As their mother, whenever, I am talking to Diva, I felt like I am doing the same to Dina They do

looked  alike from birth. As i gaze at her face, I know that I am looking at same face of Dina. Strange as it seems, I feel closeness to Dina with her.Diva is now married and have two beautiful boys. She, too is sustained and comforted by her strong and undaunted faith. I aapreciate anyone who have had experience with twins. Come and share with me.

Yesterday was a nostalgic day as i saw the replay of 9/11 on TV. I was in my home in Queens, New York City at the time. It goes without saying, I felt the pangs of emotions that emanated from everyone who witnessed this incomprehensible tragedy. My heart went out with the families of the victims, who I knew would experience the replay of anguish, pains and longings for the missed loved ones. I know because I was there. I volunteered  with the American Red Cross to help with the Disaster services near Ground Zero, following months after the D-Day.

Being a bereaved parent myself. I felt again the sorrow of losing a child. I learned of the mother who lost her only child--a daughter who was at the World Trade Center. She got the last call from her daughter ending with "I love you" and a scream. I heard so many stories of those last calls from  loved ones that the recipients would never let go from their cell phones.  I truly understood that because that was the only connection that day and never to see the loved one physically after that.

I said a prayer that morning--that may the Lord helped those who remember be given comfort and peace...even after 7 years after. Sometimes. in some cases, grief get more intense through the years and sometimes it eases. I prayed that their faith in God be stronger and that they find hope, as the Holy Scripture promises that someday, we 'll see our loved ones again.

That hope has been sustaining me through the years and I wish my grieving friends to experience it. We are all in this together as we travel in our grief journeys. I love you.