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Shanny2007 
3:02pm Thursday
I just want to clarify on my last journal entry.. I absolutely LOVE being a mommy, it is the best thing in the world. I just wanted to put it out there that in the beginning it was a lot harder than what I expected. It seems like no one ever talks about that piece and you know how I am, putting it all out there!! BUT.. I would do it over again a million times, it is totally worth it!
Comments
Hi Ladies! I just wanted to give a quick update on my new life. Whew.. life with a newborn is interesting! :)
In all honesty, I don't think I was fully prepared for life at home with a newborn after delivery. I had always been so focused on getting pregnant and carrying the baby to term that I never really thought about what would happen once she was actually here. You are all my friends and I am not going to lie, the first couple of weeks were tough! I was pretty sore from my stitches and on pain killers, the lack of sleep was just crazy and the emotional part.. wow.. the change in hormones is no joke! I was just a bit of a mess at first. I guess I thought it would just be wonderful bliss (which it really is), so I wasn't prepared for the hard stuff. It was a lot of work but 100% TOTALLY worth it! I had my moments, that is for sure! I just wanted to be honest with you guys about this part because I don't think enough people talk about it and I was totally caught off guard. Don't get me wrong, I was still so happy to have her, I just wasn't prepared for how crazy I would feel those first couple of weeks and I want you girls to know how it could be!
I am so much better now. I am totally adjusted to life on a couple of hours of sleep, I am pretty much healed up (still bleeding though, 4 weeks later, seriously), and my hormones/emotions are back in check. Sophia and I have started to get into a nice routine and I just love being her mom. She is the most precious thing in the world and I am filled with amazement and gratitude as I sit her typing this watching her sleep.
She is already growing and changing so much. It is crazy to watch her develop new skills every day. She smiles alot, it is probably gas, but I still think it is the most adorable thing in the world. She is a grunter, it is hilarious. She grunts in her sleep all the time and when she gets angry man she has some pipes. I have a feeling she is going to be a loud one. We are going to the doctor for a weight check tomorrow so I am totally interested in how much she weighs now.
I hope this entry finds you all doing well! Special shout out to Lara... good luck tomorrow!!!
Big Hugs!
Shanny
Comments
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Thanks for the reality check. It is so hard to imagine what it will be like. I try but... I think with twins I will be a mess for awhile but at so point I hope to get back to normal. You daughter is beautiful.
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I can only imagine how hard it is...you are so right we spend so much time getting pregnant who actually thinks about what it is like! I am sure you are a wonderful mom. Sophia is beautiful! Thanks for the shout out! :)
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I am so glad that you wrote this! I think you are absolutely right, we spend so much time focusing on getting pregnant, then we focus on staying pregnant, that we sometimes aren't fully prepared for the parts that no one talks about afterward. It sounds like you are both doing well, though, and that's the most important part! :)
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I never say it because I have never actually been through it myself and I don't want to scare anyone. But, I witnessed it first hand with my BF. She too believed she would have the baby and it would be bliss. Well, she was in for a horrible awakening! Of course having the baby was amazing! But she had an easy time getting pregnant, easy pregnancy and easy delivery. So when the sleepless nights and days along with the sudden hormone craziness and an unwilling baby to breastfeed all got together it was a mess! The first month was by far the hardest. I think of that time as "the black out" since you don't really know if you are coming or going. After the third month it seems to get a lot smoother. I was on the phone with BF as she sobbed her pretty eyes out every single day the first month. I would go over there on my lunch breaks and then after work. It was so sad but so completely normal. I think most women do not expect it the first time around.
But, you made it through "the black out" period and now can move forward! ;-) I can't wait to hear how big Miss Sophia has gotten after her appointment today.
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Girl, I totally know where you are coming from. THe first 2 months are the hardest ever!!!! However I can tell you that it does get better. Hayden is now 6 months and sleeps through the night and is on a good schedule. You will get sleep again I promise. DH and I laughed yesterday that we made it through the first 6 months without killing each other so that was a good thing.
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I have always heard that the first six weeks are the toughest--and then the first real smile happens, sleeping gets a little more predictable, the routine is more settled and life suddenly gets very good! So glad to hear everything is moving in the right direction :)
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Oh, yeah. I saw my sister go through it! She'd call my mom (or me) to come over so she could take a walk or take a nap - just to get out for a minute to regroup. It's not all fun and games. Babies cry and they can't tell you what they want or need. I see how it can be frustrating in a "I want to help you but I don't know what you need" way. I'm glad things are calming down and you are settling into a routine!
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I understand where you're coming from! Those first few weeks are the hardest, even though it's worth every minute. I found right around 5 or 6 weeks everything got better.
Aren't the noises they make in their sleep so funny? Collin did that a lot when he was little, but by the time he was a few months old he didn't do it anymore. About a month ago he discovered he likes to scream as loud as he can and then laugh...lol. Keep enjoying your baby girl!
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I am glad you shared your experience.... My baby is 5 1/2 weeks old now and I was blindsided by how hard it has been after wanting to get pregnant for so long and then having such an easy pregnancy.... I have never cried so much in my life and been so emotional. You are just so out of it--I lost my wallet last week and burned a utensil on the stove last night. I am exhausted and the hormones are out of control--and this is from someone who's never had PMS, never been depressed and never dreamed she would suffer from postpartum depression...but it does happen. I have joined a support group and started to see a therapist, which is really helpful. But in a way I feel like postpartum depression is the new dirty secret people don't talk about, just like fertility issues. I try to remember it's not my fault, just like the fertility stuff, and want to be open about it so others know they're not alone. I love my baby and things are getting easier and I"m bonding with him more and more now but no one told me just how tough it could be when you bring him home and you think it's just going to be magical and you're just going to be full of love, etc. The group leader for the support group I'm in said doing IVF is a risk factor for postpartum depression b/c your expectations are so high and the investment so great. So just know that if it does happen to you, you aren't the only one and there is help out there. Good luck with your little one, Shanny, and glad you are feeling better!
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Thank you all for sharing your stories, Shanny you are an angel for your honesty.... I feel so much better, scared out of my mind, but better knowing that some of my fears are real, but normal....
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YOu speak the truth. The first few months are still a blur for me. It is all about survival those first few weeks. However, the best is yet to come. It gets more amazing everyday!!
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Im glad you are honest and speak the truth...things can be tough! I am so glad you have this wonderful miracle in your life, Sophia is just beautiful..you have a lifetime of precious moments to come. xoxo
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So happy to hear your feelings are in check. It's a big change. But there's nothing more rewarding than being a mother! XOXO
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I appreciate your honesty and am glad that you "put it out there" like you did. Your daughter's pics are adorable!
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THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS AND BEING HONEST!!!! i have felt te same way and was too embarrased to admit it.
Hello my friends! Sorry it has taken me so long to get my story out here, just been very busy with little Sophia's new schedule. I am also sorry I have not posted any pics, I have been trying for days but for some reason I can't get any to upload to DS. I've had this problem in the past but then it started working again so I thought it was resolved.. guess not. Here is a link to one of my web albums that has some of our little angels pics:
http://picasaweb.google.com/merrifieldsh/SophiaMarie#
The Story!
Well, although I was planning on getting induced on Monday I didn't quite make it! :) On Saturday night Jeff and I went over to my sister's house to celebrate my nephew's birthday, Mr. Brayden turned 3 on the 10th. The whole night I was just not feeling well so at 8:30 or so we went home. I was trying to sleep but I just couldn't and I was going to the bathroom every like 30 minutes. So at 12:50 I went to the bathroom again and I heard something "pop", it wasn't a big noise but enough that I looked in the toliet but nothing was there so I went back and layed down. I wasn't in bed for a minute until I felt the gush.... my water had broken. I yelled at Jeff and he ran around trying to finish up the packing and we waited for my doctor to call back. We left for the hospital about an hour later. We arrived and they sent a test to the lab to check and make sure it was really my water and sure enough, I was going to have a baby! They checked me at I was only dialated a fingertip so they decided to let me go until 6am and then they would check me again. At 6 I was only dialated to a 1 so my doctor started me on pitocin.. fun stuff! My labor at first went pretty slow, I think I was only at a 3 by noon, but that is when the fun contractions start. I don't think I can adequately explain the pain that you feel ( I was having back labor), but anyone that can do natural childbirth is either insane or my hero, I am not sure which one. It took another very painful hour or two to get to a 4, but then I got the wonderful epidural. I literally told the anesthesiologist that I loved him, he said he gets that alot! My labor started progressing faster at that point which was nice and I wasn't feeling too much pain so that was great. By 5 pm I was fully dialated and ready to push.. but miss Sophia had turned posterior so the back labor was back and the epidural stopped working. The pushing was so intense though so I just didn't care.. I wanted her out! I had to push for about 2 hours and in the very last minutes I somehow managed to turn her back around and then out she came. I can't adequately describe how it feels to see the doctor lift up your baby and then place it on your chest, but it was undoubtedly the best moment of my life. Nothing will ever come close to that feeling, I am sure of it. I ended up with a 3rd degree tear and that has probably been the most painful part at this point, but it is totally worth it!
We are home and doing very well. I am still adjusting to the new schedule, but so far it really hasn't been that bad. My parents have been here helping and Jeff took 2 weeks off from work so I am definitely in good hands! Thank you all for some many hugs and messages of support. I am so thankful for each one of you.. no way I would be sitting here looking at my little girl without all your love and support. I am praying for each one of you and will try to get caught up with everything that has been going on very soon!
Love you!
Shanny!
UPDATED GOALS
Comments
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What a great story! I love it! Sorry about the tear but I am sure it was/is worth it. Enjoy every moment of this!!! Love to you all!
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Congrats Shannon. So happy you have your gorgeous little girl. ((hugs))
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I have been waiting for your story! I wanted to know what the pitocin was like. Looks like I will be induced next Thursday unless he decides to come on his own. I'm already dialated and almost 100 percent effaced now. I loves reading your story and I have to tell ya, sophia is so beautiful! Everything sounds like it went well. Sorry about the tear, ouch! I can't wait for that feeling you felt when they place that baby on your chest!
Its been a long hard road getting here and you finally made it!! Soooo happy for you Shanny!! Keep us updated! Xoxo :)
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Thanks for sharing your wonderful story! Sorry about the tear - ouch! Glad you are all doing well!!! (BTW, DS is giving me a hard time about uploading pics as well. It's so annoying!)
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Thanks for sharing. I'm so happy she is here!
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OMG!! That is amazing--CONGRATS!!
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Oh, Shanny - I am so happy for you. She is precious. An angel from Heaven. Bless you all . xoxo
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i'm so happy for u!!! thanks for sharing that story.......
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i'm so happy for u!!! thanks for sharing that story.......
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I am so excited for you!!!! Welcome to mommyhood!!!
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CONGRATULATIONS! She is absolutely wonderful. I'm glad you are settling in nicely.
xoxoxoxo
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Wow!! Awesome news and congratulations on the birth of your beautiful Sophia!
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I'm so happy for you!! She's beautiful!!
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Thanks for sharing your story...what a wonderful experience! I can't wait to have mine...8 weeks (or so) to go. Congratulations again, she's a doll!
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So happy for you Shannon!! Wow long labour...you are a trooper. Can't wait to see more pictures of Miss Sophia!! Big hugs. :)
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Congratulations! That's great news! We ended up having the same due date but delivered a week apart. Good luck with Sophia, it sounds like she has an awesome mom!
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Great news! I'm thrilled for you all. hugs,
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All the tears I cried when first reading this entry were tears of complete and utter happiness for you and Jeff. It seems like just yesterday the doctors were telling you it would never work and to move on with a new plan. But you followed your heart and your faith and determination proved that miracles do happen! I have no doubt you will be an amazing Mother, just as you are an amazing friend, wife and woman. I am so glad you got to experience pregnancy and that moment when they first placed your daughter on your chest. I know your love for her will only continue to grow as the years pass. I wish you, Jeff and Sophia nothing less then all the joys this world can offer. You deserve every moment of them! :-)
On another note, I am sorry that labor was so long and for the tear. I hope you heal soon!
p.s. Sorry about the blank posts. I was trying to reply from my phone this weekend and it did not want to work for some reason.
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What an amazing story Shannon. I had really bad back labor as well and it was the worst pain i have ever felt in my life!! So glad that she is here safe and sound and I can't believe that you are finally a mom as well. As for your picture troubles, I always have an issue if they are too big. DS is particular and you have to crop them smaller to get them up.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so happy for you! Sophia is absolutely beautiful and she has my favorites name. Congrats! :)
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We have the exact same labor experience it seems...water breaks and you think your gonna delivery soon and then 24 hours later here comes your little angel! sorry though, mine was only a 2nd degree tear! And yes...I too wanted to kiss my nurse anesthetist after the epidural!
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She is so precious! What a great story!
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I love this entry.....gets me all geared up for my day:) I am so very happy for you and Jeff! What a long road we have been on to get here, huh? You will have a wonderful story for Sophia one day - she will know how just how special she is!!! Many hugs to you, Shannon!!!
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Thanks for sharing your story. Enjoy being a Mommy!! It's the best job in the world!
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Congratulations! What a wonderful story with the best ending ever!!!
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Your entry brought tears to my eyes, I am so happy for you! Sorry about the tear, did they not do an episiotomy? Hopefully you're healing nicely and feeling much better.
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Almost a month late, but congratulations! How wonderful!
Past Entries
Goal Updated
Your journal entry earlier, really helped me. I think it was very honest. Thanks fro posting.
tgirl26
I never doubted for a minute that you love being a mommy. Your love for Sophia is so obvious. But your honesty was refreshing and reassuring. Your message was clear for me, it isn't easy but you will survive. And it is worth it.
I for one got a lot of of your post.
BIG HUGS
klimawife
I agree with the others, I never doubted you love being a Mom for a second. The truth is though that being a new Mom is hard. Your hormones are all over the place, you are extremely sleep deprived, usually you are healing from giving birth and at the same time trying to figure out this little life that changes every day and depends on you for everything. I think because all we go through we are afraid if we talk about the hard stuff people will think we are ungrateful, but that is not the case at all. You can be both at the same time. As hard as it seems at times I know you would not trade it for anything. You are already an amazing Mommy!
Lioness816
I didn't mean you can be both as in ungrateful, I meant that it can be hard yet the best thing that ever happened to you at the same time. (sorry, I am a bit drugged from the surgery)
Lioness816
I totally appreciated your honesty. I have always thought the hardest part was just getting pg but in all truth its what comes after b/c your heart is so invested. I have felt guilty saying this after our 4yr struggle is that I always thought I would so love being pg but it has been sooooooo much harder then I ever anticipated. After going thru IF we are so afraid to be honest about how hard stuff is b/c we dont want people to think we are not beyond happy. Congrats on your beautiful baby! xoxo
AmberR
Congrats on your beautiful, Sophia. I know you are over the moon about being a mommy. These first months will be hard but rewarding. Enjoy every moment even the crazy ones.
red32
I'm glad you were so honest in your journal. I am trying to prepare myself but I don't really know how to prepare myself for something I've never done before. Hugs and congrats again!
HopefullySomeDay
It's good to be honest. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world either, but I can say the beginning was tough. Now that Collin is almost 8 months, I can say it just gets better and better. Your little girl is such a cutie!
Jen2279