Journal

Somewhere in the next week+ my baby girl will be here! What a Mother's Day gift! So go to see the Hig-Risk Specialist agin today and then tomorrow is the appointment with my OB, so in theory by the time we leave there tomorrow we'll know when she'll be making her debut.

Can't help but admit I had a little breakdown this Sunday, funny timing since I had just been talking to DH about how he's be telling everyone who askes how much I'm loving being pg, of course they all assume that by this point I'm done and have entered the "ugly" time of pg, where I'm not sleeping and I'm uncomfortable and therefore "done and bitchy" and he's been saying "NO, she's great". He was surpised to find out that wasn't really the case, I just know that I have such a limited time left that I'm just kinda suckin' it up, but I'm done. If I was going to term I would be in the uglies, I'm just riding the edge. So then later that night getting ready for bed I realized i had yet another yeast infection and while brushing my teeth my tounge started bleeding, just a taste bud gone rogue but it was just enough to push me over the edge. DH found me in bed crying, breakdown of I'm done with this, combined with a good dose of but I'm so happy to be here and a realization that because we came to be here the way we did I've not been "myself" in years and now I'm going to have a c-section and have to recover from that, then she'd move and I'd feel so guilty and....I'm sure your get the point emotional rollercoaster, I had lost it! DH of course was wonderful and listened and told me I was crazy or ingratful, that after everything I'd been through it's only natural I'd have a breakdown every once and a while, plus it's a little stress over the coming week. Then made sure I knew we were fine as far as my leave goes so that if I wanted to walk into the office Monday and say "see ya in Septemeber" that I could to it. That I wasn't to feel my usual "responsibilties" to them at this point. Which is of course adding to my slightly uneven emotional state.

I'm so very happy to be here, days away from delivering my baby. But can't help but admit this has been more difficult and less fun then I thought it would be. Only nature I supose, I mean with us, our work culminates in a pg, which alone it not easy. What we put ourselves through before we even get there, it's a wonder by month 8 they do find us in a corner sobbing and out-of-our minds with "doneness". Damn we're strong!

Hubby and Mummy were very proud and slightly surprised that I held it together so well for my shower. Went by so fast I don't think I had time to really think on it and get too emotional. But then those days always do go by so fast. We got a ton of stuff, not much in the way of dups or things I can't use which is great. It'll take most of this week to get everything organized and figure out what I still now need. But it was fun and Mum and the Girl's didn't such a beautiful job, I'm a luck luck lady to have such generous and wonderful people in my life, truly blessed. I think even my Dad had some fun watching me go thorugh eveything, not know what the hell anything is if course and saying things like "Play gym, for the floor? All you needed was a blanket and a plastic cup!" and rolling eyes and looking at my Mum when things like "tummy time" where mentioned.

We had Easter dinner at our house too, that was great, I had been up "doing" since the morning so by the time my Mum and Dad came over she and Hubby took over most of the "doing", I barely had to do anything and in fact was yelled at when I tried, reminding me that I should enjoy this becasue ti wouldn't last, good point I figured and sat my butt back down ;0)

I can't believe I have now about a month to go. Met with the the "High Risk Specialist" last week and she scared me a bit, not it's 36-37 weeks and she's thinking more 36, I'm wanting later of course. Tumblelina looks great! She's over 4lbs and they have great faith that she'll be ready enough by then. They might choose to do an Amino at 36 to see if she's got the "breathing fluid" already. I don't know I'm slightly confused about the whole thing. I'm sure I'll figure it out. In the meantime I just need to not get a head of myself.

Hi All,

Just wanted to updated and get the updates. Time has been passing so fast, I can’t believe we’re in week-count-down mode! I have about 8-9 weeks to go, turns out the Privia was in fact complete and so I’ll be having a scheduled c-section, somewhere around week 39. Assuming that everything goes smoothly in the meantime, I haven’t had any other “side effects” of the Privia, it’s just “simply” placenta in over the cervix. Other then that things look good. We’re having a little girl, which is very active and healthy, Tumblina is her nickname she’s quite the gymnast, excellent size and heartbeat, even slightly “advanced” practicing her breathing a couple weeks earlier then would be expected. All very good signs.

Mommy and Daddy still have SO much to do, although I’m keeping it all in perspective pretty well. I figure you’re never going to be ready enough so having everything in place is a expectation that wouldn’t be reached anyway so why stress or exhaust myself trying. All she really needs is a place to sleep, some essentials; diapers, clothes, etc, love, and food which comes from a healthy Mom, we don’t have the diapers, easy-peezy. Other then that it’s all icing on the cake right!?! She’s not going to know if the appliqués are on the walls of her room, she wouldn’t even be in there much for a bit, or if the house is in disarray, or if she’s got enough clothes and toys for the next six-months neatly in their place. We’ll do what we can get done and worst case I’ll call in the family to help, Mom’s already been a big help.

I will do my best to try and keep you all posted as things start to come down to the wire. And keep up after Tumblina arrives. You ladies are always in my thoughts and prayers, I pull for you even when I’m not really around please know that.