dairytech's Journal

Time goes by so fast. I cant believe its been so long since I wrote in my journal. Ive been in my new home now for over a month. I love my new home! Ive been working very hard at getting things organized and doing the jobs needed to prepare for winter. Its mostly been outside stuff but I did get my basement insulated and the vapour barrier up. You can definately tell where I began...it looks better as I had more practise...lol...oh well it will be covered by drywall so you wont be able to tell. I have completed my white picket fence and fixed up the flower beds. It looks so cute. Almost fairy tale cute. I planted 200 spring bulbs in that one flower bed. My affirmation is that...when the spring bulbs bloom...so will I.  

Emotionally...Ive had my ups and downs. After being married for 24 years it takes some adjustments living on my own. Divorce sucks. Im still dealing with anger issues...but Im working through them. I think the anger is more based from the feelings of abandonment as well as my refusal to see the signs in the first place. I swept a lot under the carpet.  Im trying very hard to take ownership of the part I played in the breakdown of my marriage.  I do know I did all I could do to save this marriage...I didnt leave a single stone unturned. I have accepted I must move on. But, its hard. Thank goodness I have my children and my boys (dogs) I will get through this and I will be happy again...it has already begun.

I actually went on a date! The fellow that did my house inspection prior to my buying my home has stopped by a few times to see how I was doing. Well he asked me out and I had a wonderful time. We have plans to see each other again. He is a very nice fellow. He also is going through divorce and understands what I am going through. His situation is exactly like mine. We're helping each other get through it. I am enjoying his company.

I am happy to say remission is holding. My FT4 still moves around a bit more than I would like but the movement is less. I feel okay mostly. I am so greatful for all the help I have recieved here at DS. I have learned enough where I know my body very well. I can now tell when my FT4 is moving. I also know when its to low vs acceptable low. Isnt that awesome. My eyes have not moved now for about 3 months. Although the movement has been for the better placement wise...worse sight wise....I understand that as they settle more into there rightful place...it will effect my sight. Im pretty sure if this continues I will be able to either get the surgery for my eye muscles or get permanent prisms in premanent glasses. I just want this resolved...I hate having to keep switching glasses for different needs and I hate the bubbles on my lenses due to the temporary prisms. I have so much riding on spring...I hope Im not setting myself up for disillusionment.