Journal

My daily strenghth friends,  tomorrow I make the big move from here.  So I will be without a computer for a while.  The landlord my let me use her.s, she's real nice.  Or maybe my new roommate will have a computer, but I will figure it out to keep in touch with you all.  Im getting a male roommate that I dont know.  This is a nice basement in a house with full living arrangements and 2 bedrooms...I got the BIG one,  that will me nice and not have a closed in feeling.  I will write you all about the new room mate.   Hope we get along great as roommates.  now this may not last long, becuz the house is for sale.   my fingers are crossed i will be their till spring.   I need a few more more to be totally out of debt,  then I can go get my own place,  i believe my goal was april 1st.      amd thats no april fools gig.        luv u all realllly

I have so much going on, the move and all.  But I havnt talked about the sickness I feel everyday.   I go to bed everynight around 10-1030p,  Im on ambien cr, which last about 6hrs, I wake up about 430-5am,  the ambien has worn off.  I wake up to the horrific buzzin of my tinnitus,  my eyes wont open, because I havnt had enoug sleep,  my head has a lot of pressue, which seem to hang around all day,  I turn on my classical music, which after2 hours of lying in bed eyes wide shut,  I fall back asleep,  but I dont wake up till 11am and like today 100pm.  Whats up with that,  so Im missing my morning meds and take them when I get up.  I have a sick feeling all day,  I cant accomplish as much as I want to, energy gone,  loose things around the house, or forget where I put things,  my purse, my keys, my glasses.  my eft ear has such a horrible ache that I live with,  mri's showed nothing.  It takes extra effort for me.  maybe al the sleep is my depression going on right now, I dont know.  And most of all I dont feel like doing a whole lot of nothing which adds to getting my body moving around to get my circulation going.  This has been going on for a long time,  I ;fake; being happy at times.  Know support thru my family.    Still waiting on ssdi,   that makes me real sick and could get trnd down anyway.  I really feel ill.    Take 1 celexa in morning-depressio, 1-2 clonazapm a day-anxiety and abien cr at night.   any comments woud be helpfull.   Feel really like I dont exist, and feel like some kinda of alien with the bumblebeez constantly swarming  around me at high speed and just screaming.