momoftwohugs's Journal

My affirmations for today are: 

I am everything and everything is me

Every atom of my being resonates with peace

I now take one step at a time and know that I am constantly creating success
I cleanse my mind, body and spirit of all negativity and allow my renewed self to soar higher

Right now, in this moment I am grateful for:

My GP, we had a really good appt yesterday and her support

I was accepted by the Endocronologist we wanted (she does not take new patients!)

My case worker at the insurance company, as she wants my wellness too (duh!)

The sunshine, singing birds and beautiful day I woke up to

Odd as this is...the afternoon/nights full of flares and herxing, equals healing

My buddies here on DS, a safe place to journal and have people that TRULY understand

Yesterday was quite a day.  I was on day 3 of my Biaxin after 9 days off and could feel it working.  I also started the high doses of Artemesinin for the Bab's, and was feeling that as well.  The hot temperatures here only helped to piss of the 'schetes LOL.  So, I was pretty much useless by 7PM...and from 4PM I was kind of zombie-like.  There was also a fair amount of stress and running around that I had to do (which I did) so it's almost as if I induced (or made better) my flare/herx.

All good news from my GP yesterday, she looked like she was going to freak when I told her about the IDMD...and then I explained him further to her.  So she is all good with it, and will try to connect with him before her Mat leave (3 weeks).  We were both VERY excited that the Endo accepted me!  GP had written a letter with the request and referral, and many refer to this Endo as a female "Dr. House", with personality though.  Appt is at end of August, and I am excited about it.  Finally someone will be looking into what I feel has been a real problem all along!

I spoke with my case worker at the insurance company as well.  I know it's her JOB to reduce benefits paid out...however she has never been anything but supportive.  I know she is probably getting some heat about me, however I don't think they can cut me off while I am waiting for specialists and tests to be ordered.  I still have to be referred to a Neuro, then wait for an MRI as well.  I am so thankful for these things, and of course for THEIR IDMD who supported my case (although NOT acknowledging/confirming Lyme).

I had a dream last night, that I actually remembered!  Our family and neighbours were outside, in our back yards.  As far as the eye could see...ALL fencing had been removed, and we were joyous about it!  No boundaries to hold us in.  I do see the parallel to my day yesterday, and think it is pretty cool.  The oddest part of my dream was that I was being carried, safe and trusting in the arms of someone I felt to be powerful.  My Jeff was looking at me and smiling, not threatened in any way at all.  The face was of one of my favourite neighbours (who fits the profile) however I don't feel it really was him (Jeff WOULD feel threatened, LOL).  I believe it was his face only because we were speaking about him just prior to when I fell asleep. 

Today, I am going to be as kind to myself as possible.  There is much I would LIKE to do, yet I will only do what is absolutely necessary...and prepare for the heat to come again today.  My prayer is that we could herx and kill these buggers without feeling effects from it...other than wellness.  From my lips to God's ears, for all of us.