Hating my life at the moment!
April 19, 2009 9:46pm
I am so over these side-effects. I am now on 50mg of Lamogine in the moring and 25mg at night. I had to go to the hospital yesterday because I could …
Progress
10 %
Seva 
9:47pm, October 31, 2009
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About Me
Seva
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About Me
24 year old female, suffering from bulimia for the past 8 years and also depression. Am desperately trying to fight this beast within myself which has consumed my whole being! I have currently moved home to my country town to live with my parents as everything that I have tried to combat this illness inside me which I call the BEAST, simply has not worked. I have left work and my full-time job is working with myself, my local GP, dietition, phsycologist and parents to help fight this beast inside me. I want to find the true me. I choose to live, I choose to laugh, I choose to love. In the past 4 months since residing back in my home town of Bingara, a lot has change. For one this, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar. This managed to happen after I was admitted into a mental institution which on one of the one of the most scariest things. So I guess this is just one of the other things that falls under my belt of experience. But you want to know how seriously screwed up the medical practitioners are in small country towns? I went to them just after coming home as it was brought up to me by my old boss and work mates that just before I was forced to leave due to my mental state as one worked described me as one day she said 'everyone were saying that I looked possessed, almost in a trance'. So I took my print out sheet and all the information to this local GP and her answer which has been every other doctors answer for the past 8 and a half years, 'WE WILL JUST CHANGE YOUR ANTI-DEPRESSANTS!" That's right, i go in there knowing that there is something more wrong with me and all the paper work backing me up and she dismisses me like a uneducated and crazy person! Just like most people in my small towm treat me, or they think I am on crack or speed. WHERE IS THE UNDERSTANDING? WHERE IS THE EDUCATION TO INFORM OTHERS OF MENTAL ILLNESSES? There are so many question I have that no one can seem to answer. After months of requesting a psychologist whom specialises in CBT, I was finally assessed by one 2 weeks ago. I miss my old home, the Gold Coast where I had access to many great facilities. But in my situation, I fall into the 6% who has server reactions to medications, plus with the adjustements that my body is making for the anti-psychotics which I am on 1500mg per day of Epilim. I can't work, study, some days I just want to crawl into bed and stay there, but I refuse to be a victim. I have been down that road one too many times. I train to keep myself fit and healthy, despite constantly retaining fluid in my legs. But you know what, there is always someone worse off. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I have parents whom are taking care of me, taking me to all my appointments, despite me going off just about everyday and having to walk out of the house before I start stabbing them. My hope is for others to gain understanding for people suffering from mental illnesses. They very serious and affect so many aspects of our lives, physical, mental, social, work, study, why I could go one real indepth here but I know some of you out there know where I am coming from and know exactly what I am going through. Those of you who do, please feel free to let me know :-}
24 year old female, suffering from bulimia for the past 8 years and also depression. Am desperately trying to fight this beast within myself which has consumed my whole being! I have currently moved home to my country town to live with my parents as everything that I have tried to combat this illness inside me which I call the BEAST, simply has not worked. I have left work and my full-time job is working with myself, my local GP, dietition, phsycologist and parents to help fight this beast inside
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Interests
-Yoga -Self-help books -Playing guitar, bass guitar, piano, clarinet, bass clarinet, trumpet -Painting -Poetry -Pilates -Swimming -Running -Fishing -Camping -Chilling out and joking around with my family -Spening time with my little 6year old and 9 month old cousins (they are my little angels)-Heading up to the Gold Coast when able to (miss my best friends whom are like second family to me) -Muay Thai -Kick Boxing -Dirt Bikes -NRL Football (GO THE BULLDOGS) -Cricket -Basketball -Netball -Tennis -Rocking out at music concets and festivals
-Yoga -Self-help books -Playing guitar, bass guitar, piano, clarinet, bass clarinet, trumpet -Painting
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Journal
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Oh the fun of my life
March 30, 2009 12:25am
Well I'm in my second week of the new drug lamotrigine for my bipolar and gee it's great. It's like deja vou. Gotta love the side effects. Just like …
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Journal Entry for January 16, 2008
January 16, 2008 1:18pm
Still having trouble sleeping. So not happy. But apart from that i had a good day today. I did not binge, although i purged twice but that is …
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Journal Entry for January 16, 2008
January 16, 2008 12:51pm
I am still in my healthy weight range, but i am in the lowest weight range. I want and need to put on a few more kilograms.
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Hugbook
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Thank you so much for your journal comment Seva, Niagara Falls was specatacular! Hope you are doing well..Love, Shelle x
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Hey there, I have opened a group called The Aussie Group. Just a fun site where the Aussies and Aussie-lovers on DS can get together. Come have a look and join if you want. Invite your friends too. http://dailystrength.org/groups/th... witti
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Just wanted you too know I was thinking of you...Love, Shelle xox
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Thinking of you...Love, Shelle xox
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Just wanted you to know I have been thinking of you, hope that you are doing ok...Love and hugs, Shelle xox
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Eating Disorders
24 year old female, have been bulimic for the past 8 years and am also suffering from depression. Am wanting to fight this darkness which is consuming all of my life!!!
Treatments
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depression24 year old female, suffering from bulimia and depression for the past 8 years and also depression. Am desperately trying to fight this beast within myself which has consumed my whole being! I have currently moved home to my country town to live with my parents as everything that I have tried to combat this illness inside me which I call the BEAST, simply has not worked. I have left work and my full-time job is concentrating on my recovery.
Treatments
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- It's just a matter of trying to stay positive and focused. Positive affirmations keept me going.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have found one that is really helpful and understanding. I can be completly open with her.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- It's just a matter of helping them understand what I am going through and dealing with. I provide them with a lot of reading and references to help them understand.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I just have to write truthful. I aviod beating myself up about my falls and just put everything in a positive context.
- Zoloft Not Working
- Had a lot of trouble sleeping, agitation.
Open Food Addiction
Trying to overcome 8 years of having serious negative food issues resulting in bulimia. It is my lover and my enemy. Food is my coping mechanism to escape from reality.
Treatments
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
Open Bipolar Disorder
Mis-diagnosed with depression for the past 9 years, only just diagnosed with Bipolar in January of this year (in a mental institution). I seem to have blanks in my memories of the past. Throghout my whole life it seems to be the negative moments that plague my mind. Had to leave my career and my independence to move back home to live with my parents. Was held captive on a commune for three months by a close family member because they said they could help me recover from my eating disorder.
Treatments
- Depakote Somewhat Helpful
- It has taken time to find to right level but I am up to my highest dose.
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Just had my first meeting a last week and I had to leave the room a few times as I became very upset.
- Risperdal Not Working
- Had server reactions
- Seroquel Not Working
- Had server reation
- Tegretol Not Working
- Sever reactions
- Topamax Not Working
- Sever reaction
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Groups
