Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 …
Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 year old married to my high school sweetheart and have two beautiful little girls. I …
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julied 
2:37am, February 15, 2009
Today I finished the social security application. At first I felt like I was admitting defeat. I spent several days very depressed while I put it all together., realizing I will probably never work a full time job again. It was hard giving up my career and getting a 'job' when the pain got too bad. Now I can't even sit behind a desk. The negative thinking was sucking me in, so I came to my favorite place for understanding, and just reading posts from my positive friends helped me to realize this is just another step in the journey of life with chronic pain. I am not defeated. I am still Julie. I just can't physically do the things I used to do. My body is different, but my spirit is still good. I am so glad I have met the people I have met here.
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My dear Julie
I know exactly how you feel and this pain can take us to some really dark places. Though our bodies will never be the same it can't take away our spirit. I do okay when I remember that this body is just a shell that my spirit has to live in while I am here. The real me comes from my heart. I guess that's why we can be helpful and loving to the friends on this group, we do understand how each other feels.
As I read your post I cried because it brought back to memory the day I filed and it is strange because if I go without pain for just a few minutes , I think maybe this is it, maybe I am getting better but when the medication wheres off I am reminded of the bitter truth. I know I should be brave enough to give up and face it but somehow I just keep looking for that miracle. Until our miracles come God has given us some real good friends to hold on to
Your Buddy
Cathy
ReagansGrandma
You are so right Julie. You are still Julie! Pain does not define us unless we allow it to do so. Reach out and find that something which lights you up and makes your eyes twinkle. It's out there and you can still be productive and contribute to anything and everything you set your mind to.
And when the negative thoughts start creeping in, just come on by and get in touch with someone who will be willing and ready to help you chase them away.
I'm always around and glad to be your friend.
andrews