jleigh1205's Journal

Adam is being admitted to a hospital as I write this...I'm so scared.  I keep telling myself that this is the right thing and he will get better there.  I just want to be with him right now, I want to be the one making him better. I know I can't, I know that he needs this right now, but I'm just so scared.  I'm sitting here waiting for his dad to call and give me something, anything.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I think because I am so dependent on him that I feel so alone right now...so stupid.  This isn't about me.  This is about him.  If I were a good person I could get over my own issues and not be so selfish.  I really don't want to be, I don't know....I just want to cry...How does anyone else deal with a loved one going in for treatment for BP?  I mean, he's four hours away, so I probably won't be able to go visit...I don't think I could anyways...I'm just not that strong...