vdank's Journal

i feel so upset and annoyed and as i write this i have tears in my eyes im still so guilty that it hurts for the past two weeks thats all i can think of. the amount of guilt is overwhelming and encompassing pushing it away helps for awhile when will it go away four years of carrying it i think has begun to catch up with me.. febuary is goign to be a hard month for me. my guilt from it i think has developed into anger and annoyance with everything else..

 t i know youare trying to help me but im still too angry. thank you. but i cant talk to you.

i know im pushing everyone away. maybe its to test how good of a friend they are all i know is im pushing because as much as i want to be alone i need someone to just hold me and tell me everythign is ok. i need it so badly.but i want it without needing to ask. b where are you.