vdank's Journal

this weekend in chicago was amazing. it showed me that people can truly affect other people. and i hope that i can atleast somewhat be like my grandparents and influence and affect others in a postiive and hopefully lifechanging way.

comign home was really sad. i realize i detach myself from the situatiosn to avoid crying and avoid the "feeligns" basically

today was an absolutely wonderful day being greeted by b in the morning with that hug and the "im so glad your home" was really nice. seeing a and c was really good too. it was full of laughter and good times. we laughed alotttttttttttt.. [: 

but toniught i learned that t is havign a really hard time "Rock bottom" to be accurate.. and i hope that he finds the "light" and i will try to help him. hes such a good friend no matter what i know he wont judge me and wil lbe ther for me. i thank your for that. i send you love and hope that oyu become happier. i know you will. im sure its jsut stuff on his midn about his relationship wiht g and m.. im goign to try to help him as much as i can for he is my bestfriend..

but i feel that  everyone believes that i still have a crush on him and says i feel that i need to "justify" it when i dont. i reallly really like b. oh so much it kinda scares me. its jsut that i feel that i can really trust t.. because idk im so scared that oen of my friends is goign to backstab me.. maybe not intentionally but still nonetheless im so scared i dont want to go through that again and i know t wont do that to me so i tell him the things that are on my mind things that are worrying me and yah