vdank's Journal

i feel like curling up on the couch and just laying there.

i jsut wish i could forget about it. why cant i? why cant i let it go? today was the first time in so long i really truly missed bryan. replaying the scenes of the downfall of our relationship in my head and what could have been done to prevent the outcome. replaying the different things i could have done or said instead of being spiteful and angry. trying to understand my anger. trying to figure out what went wrong.. i miss how happy everything was. i am happy but its different. i dont really understand it or anything for that matter..

i need to focus just on hw. because my education is something that will actually stick with me and stay with me for the rest of my life. where as boys are fickle.

helped luke with his hw yesterday haha it was funny because i swear he is retarded or just acts dumb to get help.

seems like ryan has little man syndrome. there is def nothing there anymore. blink 182. the lifting of his sleeves the way he walks he cracks me up. i hope we can still be friends tho or stay friends..

mm its so quiet in the room its so niceee.. with no one here its quite relaxing.. i want oatmeal.. is that weird? perhaps ill have some later. hahah sun of a gun as soon as i said taht caroline walked in.

i love life. i love myself. i am open to new relationship. i am good at keeping relationships.  i am a good relationship keeperer. i am open to love. i trust the process of life. everything comes easily to me. friendships are easily kept for me. i value friendship. i value the relationships i have with people. i am me. fully me and i love it. i love myself. i love my body. i am thin.

tay and i havent talked in.. two weeks? i dont really miss him.. nothing feels different about thatt.. its sort of weird?

im hungry..