vdank's Journal

i think takign the first step towards loving myself is just by recognizing the problem. i have been recognizing the problem trying to be more aware. trying to love myself. i love myself. that statement is going to be a true statement.

taco tuesday todayy it wad delishhhh. and coldstone yum yum yumm.i love my friends. the group we went with was perfectt.

talked to taylay on the phone yesterday for the longest time, hes different now but different in a more evolved way. send you love tay. i am so happy that he is happy. ha tay called me fat like always kiddingkidding kidding

got called fat jokingly by 4 different boys yesterday. i took the spin and feel that if they can feel relatively comfortable enough to call me fat. obv im not fat.

i send love to the allovertheplace confused lucas. i send love to caroline who is stressing. i send love to kayleen who was feeling annoyed. i send love to jenny and her dealing with her ex. 

i love my friends. i trust the process of life

a&t bdayy tomorroww [: i wish them the bestt and i send them love. i hope ty is all stoked beyond stokdedness to get his present!!

hump day hell tomorrow. it will be ok. it will be good. I AM PRODUCTIVE. go to logic center for help with logic. go to writing center for help starting my paper. i am good all is well. tomorrow i will ace my math test. math is easy. it comes easily and effortlessly to me. i am smart i am beautiful

im dealing with my own demons. im fighting my own fight. but mostly im learning to love myself. i feel taht there is so much more to the world that i dont know because i live in a bubble because the bubble is safe. the bubble is easy. the bubble is the bubble. i want to go to nicargua so badd. i am going to raise enough money for it so i wont have to pay a dime. its going to happen. it will be worthwhile.

helping/teaching at holy family has sort of put thingsi n perspective there is so much less fortunate people out there. there is so much more to life than whats on my place. i feel that i should emerse myself into that and deal with that if i dont want to deal with what is going on in my life because then i will realize that it is all relative.

going home on oct 11 with be different. as of this point i dont plan on calling anyone other than ty and ang. were just going to keep it mellow and low key. im scared to go home. i dont want to run in to..

its going to be ok. everything is ok. its all relative. will go see laguna. the stand. i <3 bagels. golden spoon. it will be lovely lovely lovely. i am safe. everything is ok.

what isnt ok works itself out. i promise. four months of saying this. i believe it will be true. itsa true statment. a true proposition.

i love myself. yoga tomorrow. zen. love. peace. calm. everything is ok. i promise. it is.. i am accepted for who i am. i come out of my shell, my mask my persona.

im in love with the fashion runway shows. its amazing. so amazing. how do they do that. i want to paint some public art. maybe tomorrow if there is time.

there is time. TIME IS RELAIVE. because its all relative. i make things the way they are.

i send love to myself.