I am having a horrible. day. I …
I am having a horrible. day. I don't know what to do anymore. and it seems like no one cares
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vdank 
12:37am, October 6, 2008
i realzied that i stopped loving myself and i dont know when it happened but it did. and now i dont know how to love myself or stop critiquing myself or "putting" myself down as much as i do. i didn't realize how much i do it but i beat up on myself alot. i question my actions or wonder why i did the things i did or do alot. it really is peculiar. when did this start and how do i stop it. i stopped accepting myself and just see flaws. im trying to overlook my flaws and love myself but i dont really know how to anymore, when did i stop loving myself? i feel that my views on myself as a person when i was younger was much better than it is now. i used to love myself. i would say that i have confidence in myself yes, but i dont love myself. and my confidence in myself is so different than what it used to be. i hate how things change and how quickly it does. i want stability. i dont know who i am anymore. when did things become so grey? i hate grey.
i worked out yesterday for angy. i shouldve worked harder it was such a mediocre workout but i had so much on my mind. there is so much on my mind. so much to the point where i dont even know what is on my mind. went out to dinner for kaylas bday and that was really fun bunch of girls that i dont normally hang out with. they were really cool. then got home and hung out with the roomies that was alot of fun too because we get along so well and i love our conversations i laughed so hard. then the boys wanted to go smoke so 7 of us in justins bathroom and justins best friend is from tesero! and goes to saddle how weird is that?? the world is so terribly small. why cant we just all get along i dont get it? anyways we smoked. luke and ryan were giggling abotu something that they wouldnt tell us all night i have a feelingthey were talking about me or something. w/e i need space from all of them haha its been less than a month and im over them already. brandis birthday is saturday. im excited to see joey and brandi it will be nice. i misss hanging out with them so much. things were so easy and nice and good.
1 year ago. do you remember what was up? my oh my how things change. i dont like it.
i love myself. i love myself. i accept who i am. i will learn to fully understand these words
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Im so happy that your learning about yourself. In no way is this a bad thing. be confident and willing to love who you are and you will. Just be willing to, thats all. it is scary to even grasp the concept of love and what it means to love yourself. let along doing it. It takes work. The place we criticise ourselves most is in in the mirror. So for a week try to everytime you look in the mirror say something nice to yourself " I am beautiful" " I look good".......It really helps. When I was recovering and had to grasp the "loving me" motion, I used to say this in the mirror or to myself every morning or when I was feeling down. "I love you angela, I really really love you. You are my best friend and I enjoy living my life with you. Experiences come and go. However my love for yo is constand. We have a good life together and it will only get better and better. We have many adventures ahead of us and a life filled with love. I love you, I really really love you." It really works, may seem weird though. Next time I come up im going to bring you Heathers spray. Yay for working out!!
angiedarling
ang the weird thing is its not in the mirror that i have a problem. its everything else about myself that i beat down on like my personality or the things i do or the way i do them. its weird. oh and p.s. i loveeyou
vdank
:) Complement your self when you realize you are not excepting and having negative thoughts!!! Reverse!!!!
angiedarling