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richard12 
So here I go...my first journal entry. What do I want to say? Where do I start?
I know, why am I here? No, not in the whole "meaning of life," philosophical, meaning of the question. What brings me to Daily Strength? Well, to be honest, I'm at a breaking point in my relationship. I've always known that I had a temper. I'm the quiet guy who can play it off as being calm, cool, and collected, but once I've been pushed too far, I explode. How does this relate to my relationship? I've been with my girlfriend for two years and I think she's amazing. I knew right off the bat that I didn't want to let my anger effect our relationship. I did my best to try and keep that from her. For the first year, she never saw it. But slowly, it started coming out. "I couldn't help it." I would get upset, at times, angry. I think it actually scared her the first few times, but it would happen so few and far between, it would become an afterthought.
Recently, things have gotten worse. I'm in love with her and I know she loves me. But I'm the type of person who probably overthinks most everything. When I'm with somebody, I want for everything to be right and know that they are good, without question. And when things aren't, I want to do whatever I can to fix it or make it right. I don't know how to just let things be. She asks me, "why can't you just relax and know that we're okay?" I don't know how to respond, I mean, I just know that I want to make her happy. Making her happy is what makes me happy. So my trying to hard has actually turned into a bad thing. I get upset because I don't feel like she's acknowledging my feelings. I feel like when I bring something up to talk about, what I think is a "real" issue, her thought is, "oh no, here we go again." But aren't I entitled to express my feelings? Shouldn't that be okay? I seem to think so. But once I feel like my feelings are not being acknowledged, I'm angry. I make the conversation last longer, I probably ask questions that I don't need to ask, say things I don't need to say. But all I want is to hear her say that she feels the same way about me or understands where I'm coming from.
So that's where I am. I've taken it to the point to where, if I don't change, she's gone. Do I want to change? Yes. Do I need to do something about my anger? Yes. Do I want to be a part of a meaningful, healthy relationship? Yes.
But I find myself right back where I was at the start of this "first" journal entry.
Where do I start?
