BeckyK's Journal

Well my surgery is set for July 16 at 12:30pm.  I have to be to the hospital at 10:30am for prep.  I will have a total disc replacement at the C4-5 level.   Hopefully this will be the last surgery for me for a while.  Though my knees are getting bad and my lower back is as well.  I will worry about that stuff some other time.

So I will not be on DS for at least 2 or 3 weeks after surgery, other than maybe a quick update, or I will call a friend to update you all.

They made it very clear that my insurance company will not cover the surgery, and I will be responsible for the balance.

I don't have a choice, I can't live in this pain forever.  I just can't.

So I will go into debt, but I will be able to be as pain free as possible.  I look forward to being able to play with my boys again without them having to be so careful around me, and I will be able to do many activities with them.

Please pray that things go well, and that I can find a way to pay for this surgery.

G wants to be there for me when I have the surgery and help take care of me.  I don't want him there! 

He is very upset with me because I would not let him come to my doctor appointment this week, and that I do not want him to go to my Uncle's wedding tomorrow.   I feel terrible, but I have got to stick to what makes me comfortable.  He is now threatening to talk with a lawyer.  He wants us to sit down with a lawyer and divide up our stuff so that he isn't surprised in August when the divorce is final.  Whatever, I will go to the lawyer with him (and my lawyer) and divide the stuff.  Take the power away from him again. 

I am so very tired of the constant battle, and problems.  He was mad that I wanted to spend the day with my Mom for her birthday and have this kids with me.  He says he was upset because I told him the day before, he wants me to plan ahead.  Well it is ok for him to do things on the spur of the moment but not for me.  Then he was mad that we took the boys to the movies because he wanted to do that with them this week.  He said he wished we would have told him our plans before hand.  I didn't know about it before hand, and besides it was my Mom's birthday, and that is what she wanted to do.  I just let him sit and stew about it, I am not going to engage in this argument anymore.  He can be mad all he wants.  It still bothers me, but I am not going to fold to his wants anymore.  Well, I am going to try not to.  Easier said than done, but I am getting better and better at it.