Join Now
Marshmallows23 
I went to, two bazaars, picked up some bake goodies and a pouch, to bake my potatoes in the microwave. I met the secretary of St. Aiden's at St. David's church, she said, that is her church, not St. Aiden's. I always thought it was. I had this numbness, come over me and the feeling to run. I've come to the conclusion, that I'm embarrassed about St. Aiden's and their attitude towards other church's. I wrote a letter to Pastor Tom of St. Aiden's, I'm not going to send it but, I got a lot of stuff, off my chest. The letter is just a therapudic technique, that works for me. I met the pastor of St. Mark's on the Lake, just before we left the bazaar. He seems to be nice, but I didn't want to talk to him for very long. Too embarrassed !
When I was a little girl I was sexually molested, I feel like I have been again, only this time by my church. It has taken away all MY FAITH, and CONFIDENCE to carry on. I feel so empty inside, with no where to turn for help. I used to turn to my GOD, but feel even he doesn't want to hear from me, because I was part of St. Aiden's. I know it's not true but that's just, the way I feel right now. I still pray, knowing he is listening ! It's terrible to go around, wandering aimlesly, with no direction. My FAITH MEANS A LOT TO ME ! I feel like a hiker with NO COMPASS and not being about to find his way back home. It's truly an awful feeling. I rely on my God to help me cope, on a daily basis, without him I'm truly lost. This whole thing is very tramatic for me. I'll survive in due time. I'm going to go to St. Mathew's Church tomorrow, that's where our new minister preaches. I want to find out what is going on, as to our future. I honestly don't think I'll be staying at St. Aiden's ( this new one ). St. David's is really a nice church. It is very small and the people are extremely friendly. This church is the nicest one out of all four churches, I have tried, plus it is close to my house. I'll have to wait and see. I should drive by St. Mathew's tonight, to make sure I know where I'm going tomorrow.
Carrie is supposed to cut my hair this weekend but, I'm not counting on it. Kathy hasn't called my yet. Guess I should go for now.
~ HUGS ~
