Journal

i feel so low.

my heart just feels like its hanging really heavy.

 i feel so ugly. fat and flabby.

nick says i need to lose weight because im getting fat.

i feel so boring and unglamourous.

i hate everything about myself at the moment. 

i dont even understand why nick is with me anymore. why would he want someone like me?

i just want to cry and dissapear into a hole.

i feel forgotten about by everyone, i feel invisable.

 all my friends are at ui making all this wonderful new friends, traveling to wonderful places. 

and thats it. 

im stuck in a dead end job.

stuck in crewe with no money.

i look discusting.

i hate myself.

Eating disorder has returned .

i went shopping today.

I was trying to find something to wear.

i feel so fat and ugly.

the skirt i bourght seems to make me look so wide and huge i hate it.

:(

i need something to pick me up.

i watched a program about self harm earlier it brought some memroies back.

im also watching big brother there are some girls on there id kill to look like. People can say they look fake. but they look gorgeous. Im jealous it makes me sad. Honestly i would do probably anything to be them.

:(