I've had depression most of my …
I've had depression most of my life with panic/anxiety disorder. I've seemed to have hit a new low. I say that because …
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trgrl99 
5:17am, May 16, 2009
I dont even know where to start now. My boyfriend who i love dearly is gone visiting friends.for apparently some much needed space. He had me and kids move in with him in july. It's now Oct. and he has still to aquire any parenting skills. He lets himself get flustered and upset and bitches to everyone but me about whatever they did which is usually normal dumb kid stuff. I know he has issues but I give every bit of patience and loving support guidance and time to him and the boys and he still pushes us away emotionally. It has gotten very uncofortable for me. I know he was troubled before me dated or moved in together. that why I did not consider moving in till Something big came up and I needed to move.. I just want to feel appreciated. I think he is deliberately pushing me away and the boys. One of our best friends while visiting and trying to help us out with our issues got drunk and to the point and said stop blowing her off if you dont start giving a shit I will steal her! Wow that was a awkward moment. It was a nice thing to say but really bad timing and not very tactful either of my boyfriends feelings who has had girlfriends stolen. I am not willing to be stolen at this date. I just want my boyfriend to suck it up and start trying. I know he has a hard time with his imbalances and p.t.s.d. he is always on alert. But Gods!! give me a little credit dude !! If I wanted someone else I would'nt be here. I want him to communcate with me and sttop thinking i can read his mind. I am soooo tired. I cant even find another apt. right now either this is really starting to suck. My kids were really starting to trust him but after he woke them up breaking things I'm not for sure . No one was hurt, but I am very dissapointed. He was acting like a spoiled brat having a tantrum. I think he has been more selfish about this then is fair. I know it's a one bedroom house, I know sometimes kids are impossible to deal with, But I also know We are gone most of the time and he is not staying busy to stave off his depression. I know it's bad I knowhow hard it is to get out of a rut, but when he nit picks everything we do , I start getting butthurt. I truly hope that all this is is moving in together to soon, I really dont want to let him go he is a good person. Agood man who has to get a handle on his issues. I' m tired.
UPDATED GOALS
balance brain chemistry
Progress 75%
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ok can i offer some addvice here on my experance i whould say get himto the docs and get himon meds for the deppersion it will help as for the p.t.s.d. that will take time my wife has p.t.s.d as well it is taking time i have to let her heal.but if you need more advice please message me
rooboy01
he was on meds at that time, of this post. he flushed them 4 days before he tried to kill himself with fire. and was on meds when he stabbed himself in leg a week before that. It was a rotten January. He has 2nd and 3rd degree burns on 53% of his body. He may lose an ear. He will be in hospital long time...
trgrl99