tinkerbella13069's Journal

I just updating on how things are. I won't share much detail on my life just because I don't share that. I will add to that that I have had 40 years of unhappiness in my life and the worse always comes when I am happy. I signed up for counciling this week and can hope that I can put some pieces of my life at rest. These past few years are just a sample of my life and how it is so that i must never show if happy or not. Everyone puts blame on each other for things that are out of their control. Me I just say that life is there. I don't need to be happy or even feel my own limbs as I just don't care about life. the only person who has ever realy known my life joys or downs was my husband. He is not allowed to be near me at all and I can say thinks to many people for that. Some think that it is the best thing but I do not as I'm the only one left that knows anything about him. Our children never have known of our past as it was not something that needs to be mentioned to them. I refuse to openly tell the councilers about much of my past. I walk threw life numb and without expresion nor will I ever take confidents in any living human as itseems that these are the people that hurt me the most. I'm sick of being lied to and about so I will just walk emotionless.

Put in another 7 jobs on Friday making the job count to 99 places and still no job. School has become so harsh that I fail at all classes as I do not feel they are related to accounting. I am hoping that getting redx for dislexia and MS will help with the disablity income but that wont happen soon enough. Well must finish this religion assignment and get it turned in.