MoroseMary's Journal

Hello Gentle Reader

Hello there, everyone, its June, 28, 2009 and i am thinking its a nice day, it really is. i mean teh usn was out, and it was nice. though i must have watered the garden to much because when i went into to retrieve the sprinkler, i pretty soon, found myself, stuck in the soft mud of the garden, LOL. the damn thing ate my Shoes! LOL i still laughing about that. but they are back with me now, cleaned up and drying on the fence, they'll be stiff for a while of that i am sure, but in all honesty whatever.

On a different note . . . what a hecteic while on all the boards. Depression board, Bi-Polar Board, Sexual Abuse Board (Don't belong there heard things), the Personality Board is going at it too (went and checked myself), and others i guess are going at it as well. is it summer time mania that we all get manic at one time? or should i pull my pants up so there is not a full moon (LOL).

On that note, i have to say i spend a bit of time on the Depression Board, fun loving place, really supportive people, but when all hell breaks loose, hooooly its like watching a really bad movie you can't turn away from. but i have found, for me anyway, its best not to get involved rather, then getting involved. getting involved, means then i become part of the bad movie, i'd rather observe, and see what may have sparked this, and see if there are common patterns or archetypes for such occassions to happen again.

Though i don't know why all the boards, seem to have blown up at once though. which is strange, from nasty hugs to manic people on the Bi-Polar Board, going absoutly nuts, and i mean fucking nuts, they copied each others avatars and started talking like people in third person, and seemed like they were talking to themselves, i was so confused, i thought everyone who had the one same avatar was a freaking troll, that was having a mental break down.

i have been noticing something else as well, in the depression board. where is "ThePepperaMan," ? i miss him . . . and i notice that the CLS on the depression at the moment, at least are not giving any reason for closing posts, which makes me confused, if they just close it because they don't like it there, or if they close it because its inapropriate for them, or whatever. so confussing.

any how, oh yeah, before i move on to my next blurb, there is a young woman, here, who is a liar, and a cheat. she is very naughty girl, and has lied constantly, about suicide, friends, her threats to commiting and other aspects of her life. for what? attention. but she won't go on the depresison board, and she best not, because in all honesty she's not wanted there, and she can go fuck with a different board. Looks like her chosen board, are Bi-polar Board, and the Sexual Abuse board.

any how, my next bit, is about something of me, that i have been looking up for a while. its called Schizoid Personality Disorder.

It has nothing to do with Schizophrenia. just so you all know.

from Wikipedia:

Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, and emotional coldness.

***

i mean i am chatty on here, and nice with you guys, but in real life, i am not that way. i have told myself and others, on many occassions (others being family): "Friends are luxoury, i do not need." and for me its true, i do not need people in my life. i don't care, i am quite content by myself, for the rest of my life. scary thought but i can sit and just thinking, and read a book, write, and such, and i would not have an issue. its just the way i am.

i mean when i went to school, i rarely talked with other people, i often forced myself, to talk with other people, and even then it felt so socially awakward. actually going to school period was socially awkaward.

however, i do not make up my own fantasy worlds in my mind . . . wait thats a lie in a way. i do like to write, but there not fantasy its a reality thing, where i write realism, and the real troubles of day to day life, of being human, existental crisis, and such. i consider myself, a humanity observer.

any how, i don't know i went to wikipedia and read the chart i look more like a covert, then an overt. however, i might be a secret schizoid. i am so confusedat the moment, i hate insomonia makes me think to much then i get confused, then i get all cranky cause i am confused, and then blah blah blah, and ugh what was i talking about?

oh yeah remember now:

from wikipedia:

"Unlike avoidant personality disorder, those affected with SPD do not avoid social interactions due to anxiety or feelings of incompetence."

***

its not that i feel incompetent in social situations, its just that i find them, well rather, dull, and i also find them to be if anything, of a slight bore. i just watched a movie, and its also said that people with this disorder, work good in social isolation. (my marks were really good this year) and that it occurs more commonly in males.

Male being the one gender with the penis or pee-pee between his legs (ooh i am such a dink) no pun intended, i am not Shakespear LOL.

he was a goofy  writer, in my opinion as well.

any how this wraps up my thoughts. i am getting tired, maybe i'll get some sleep. won't last long but maybe.

take care

be good

and leave a comment with your thoughts.   

P.S. i am not diagonsing myself, i am jsut simply stating its a possibility.

take care

Morose-Mary