mhodges31's Journal

I am so tired of not being paid any attention to. I dress up, Mark doesn't notice. I could dye my hair all the shades of the rainbow and he wouldn't notice. He doesn't even care. It really sucks and it really hurts my feelings. He says he loves me and things are better but are they really? Not from my point of view. He comes in from work, gives me a kiss, and basically I am non-existent for the rest of the evening. As long as he gets his dinner and his clothes are washed and the house is clean, I am nothing and I get treated as nothing. I am so so sick of this. It is hard enough to have my problems with being bipolar and on top of that, being in treatment for an addiction. I need an adult to communicate with me, not ignore me. I don't know why I think he should though when he hardly pays attention to his daughter. The only way he cares is if it benefits him. I am just so tired of it, I don't know how much longer I can take it. I might as well be alone because I feel alone now anyway.