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zenfulliving 
Got up before 6:00 a.m. to say goodbye to my daughter (she's headed to Boston) - 6:00 am is very early for me. Difficult for me to function until 10:00 am Said goodbye - stumbled back to bed. Didn't go back to sleep - jealous thoughts kept me awake. I want to go to Boston, I want to go to work, I want to drive, I want to go shopping. I want to live well even though I have chronic illnesses. Instead I ducked under the covers and said screw it, There are soooo many of these days. Eventually I get out of bed, but my blue mood stays with me. I'm on the fence though, the rest of my day could be good or bad. I'm tired, I hurt, I'm lonely, I'm grateful, I'm calm, I'm kind. All these emotions whirl round and round in this overactive, sleep-deprived brain of mine.
HOW DO I JUMP OFF THE FENCE AND CHOOSE "GOOD DAY"
I wrote this poem/story after my last set of visits with my cardiologist, sleep specialist, rheumatologist -- each doctos told me to lower my expectations and accept the fact that I'll never run a marathon, work again, or drive a vehicle. I intend one day to prove them all wrong. Until then, I'll keep training for that marathon!
Zenfulliving
TODAY I RAN A MARATONIt’s my day; I feel it in My Bones – My Mind – My SpiritReady – Set—GoThe sun shines down; my body greedily absorbs the healing warmth – the strength of the sun penetrating my bones The wind blows through my hair; I inhale its strength matching its beat every time my foot strikes the pavementNO fatigue to cut my run short – NO pain to stop me in my tracks –NO brain fog to make me lose my way – NO doubt in my thoughts—my abilities—my confidenceMy SPIRIT begins to soar--above the treetops—through the clouds—visiting the sun—waiting for the moon to rise--to sit awhile—to ponder how high I’ve risen above the fatigue—the pain—the fogginess of my mindAs the moon sets and the sun rises--my SPIRIT returns—elated, yet saddened—mourning is here againYesterday, I ran a marathon……if only in my mindZenfulliving
