HollyNRK's Journal

I guess I just need to vent. Sorry this is long. My Mom was the best Nana. She was here whenever she could be to help out with Bumpers. She bought him gifts and celebrated every little accomplishment. Now that she is gone, so is that love and support. It is a major void. Bumpers is now two and my inlaws have not come up to visit or help out pretty much at all. They came one time to visit Bumpers one time when he was six months old. They have stopped by for an afternoon once since then (because they are visiting other relatives nearby in MD not just to see us, we were a mere brief pit stop)in the interim. In contrast, they moved to GA to be with a grandchild that is their favorite. I am bitter about this total lack of support because I am worn out.

Now this is where it gets tricky. Neither one of my inlaws have held a full time job in the last 20 years. They have been living off of money FIL had stashed which amounts to something like $400,000. They are young and healthy (both are mid-fifties and perfectly able to work but don't!) They don't have any health insurance should there be a major accident or illness. His mother is still alive (she is 80) and they are living with her right now. The nest egg they have lived on will in time run out. Right now, I am worried about how we are going to send our kids to college and save for our own retirement with the economy in so much trouble. It just occurred to me that my lazy Inlaws are going to expect someone to take care of them when the money runs out and they finally get old. That "someone" will be my family because none of the their other kids make any income to speak of. So after years of not working and watching TV every day and no support to our family, they are going to mooch off of us. I feel like my husband should sit down with them and address their "retirement" (I use this term loosely since they don't work and haven't for years) before it's too late and they are too old to do anything about it. He just wants to not worry about it because it is not an immediate problem but I can see it coming. I wouldn't mind helping them out later if I felt like they were helping themselves but they aren't. They are lazy and I can see the financial hardship they are going to bring to my family. So I am even more bitter because all of this makes me appreciate my Mom even more. She would have never burdened her kids. Is there anything I can do to stop this from happening? I feel like I can see this train wreck coming and I feel powerless because my husband will sink my family to save them. THat's how he is.