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EscapeFromHear 
2:03pm Saturday
Making friends has gone down a few slots on my list because I am not feeling well.
Sitting and my desk sniffling…running to the bathroom to cry.
I don’t know what the problem is. Nothing feels right, nothing feels real.
The past three weeks have been non-stop self-medication and all it is doing is forcing me to sleep through all the times I need to deal with stuff, not to mention destroying my insides. But I can’t stop.
If not a single doctor can find a reason for my headaches then maybe they are not all incompetent losers but instead there is nothing wrong with me and it is all in my head. And I can’t blame them for stopping my headache medication because look at what I doing with the leftover pills.
I think I need to trade in my pain medicine for depression pills but I know I won’t pull myself together and go get them.
I hate being another teenage sob story but can’t keep going like this and I don’t know what to do.
Comments
I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way, I think you need to ask for help and talk to your parents about it. It sounds like you getting addicted to those pills, it has to stop, maybe you need to go through a detox program. Changing your life style is also important, exercise, meditation and yoga might help you. In addition you judging yourself too harshly, it will only cause a lot of guilt. Sometimes we cannot control thing in our life, and we need to ask for help, non of this is your fault, don't blame yourself for anything. Just make a decision to change your life, become more caring and loving toward yourself. Don't feel bad about yourself because you have trouble making friends, care more about yourself, love yourself, you such an incredible person.
simon22
I am not sure what this was...for over two hours I could not stop crying but now am fine and I don''t remember, at all what I was feeling aside from what I wrote in this journal. This happens quite a bit for me and reaally don't know why.
EscapeFromHear
sorry its taking me a week later to reply to this journal, sometimes you get lost in yourself, you forget others. Im sorry things are really tough, you somehow have to get into a routine of doing things, no matter hoew small, like small things, like walking round the block, you can overcome this, i totally find it hard to go the doctors, but you have to do it, in hard times you have to do things you dont want to. im pulling for you, you probably dont feel like this right now, sorry for the late reply, thinking of you.....
ShazzerInc