Journal Entry for February 23, 2009
February 23, 2009 8:32am
I'm sorry George. I'm sorry Janie. I'm sorry I couldn't have done more to help you both with what you were going …
Goal Completed on Mar 14, 08
dontwantto
7:55am, April 14, 2009
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About Me
dontwantto
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About Me
I am a: licensed funeral director and embalmer, teaching aide at an alternative school, wife, daughter (& in-law), sister-in-law, friend, and hopefully a mother someday. I am constantly stressed about one thing or another. I wish I had a creative outlet but I don't. I have 2 cats that I love. We have been trying for a baby for months now with no luck, but now I've been diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis so we'll see how that works with getting knocked up. I am off most of my meds now since we are trying and thats been making me start to go into a depression and anxious spiral...not good.
I am a: licensed funeral director and embalmer, teaching aide at an alternative school, wife, daughter (& in-law), sister-in-law, friend, and hopefully a mother someday. I am constantly stressed about one thing or another. I wish I had a creative outlet but I don't. I have 2 cats that I love. We have been trying for a baby for months now with no luck, but now I've been diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis so we'll see how that works with getting knocked up. I am off most of my meds now since we
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Interests
embalming, reading, cosmetology, dancing, babysitting my god-daughter and "nephew"
embalming, reading, cosmetology, dancing, babysitting my god-daughter and "nephew"
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for January 6, 2009
January 6, 2009 2:23pm
This world will never be, what I expected.And if I don't belong who would have guessed it?I will not leave alone everything that I ownto make you …
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Journal Entry for January 6, 2009
January 6, 2009 2:21pm
Oh I had a lot to sayWas thinking on my time awayI missed you and things weren't the same'Cause everything inside it never comes out rightAnd …
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another one killed herself
December 19, 2008 7:48pm
I just found out another friend comitted suicide. A friend from college. Shit shit shit. I do not know why all this is happening. I don't know why …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
Hope things are working out for you. xxx
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I’m With You
Thinking of you. xxx
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Prayer
I will prayer for you, here for you, you know that. xxx
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Hug
Hey there how are things? hope your well. xxx
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Hug
hey there how are things? thinking of you Randilyn. xx
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
If I'm not anxious and worried and I just depressed about something or nothing. Mostly just feel numb.
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Never really been treated for it. But I live my life by organization and symmetry. I like even numbers. I hate the number 27 for no good reason. I hate the state of Vermont for no reason. I have to eat things (like mms and skittles) in 2s. If there is one left at the end I will throw it away. If things are not organized and symmetrical I will lose my ever lovin' mind. And now apparently I have learned from my therapist that my picking and SI was a big form of my ocd.
Treatments
Open Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Treatments
- Metformin Too Soon to Tell
- getting used to it...i guess
- Progesterone Working / Worked
- 10 day "Progesterone Challenge" whatever that means...i guess it worked? i dont know...
Open Endometriosis
dontwantto hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Trying To Conceive
Been trying for over a year with no luck. I have PCOS and endometriosis. Will soon have endoscopic surgery to try and help
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a FriendMy close friend and old co-worker and fellow funeral director-embalmer committed suicide on 12/9/08. Fnrl director-embalmers don't do that. I don't know how to cope. I deal with death and suicide daily, but not one of my friends and fellow fd/em. I can't deal with this.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
- I'm mad at him and feel so guilty for being angry. I don't know what to do. Is he in heaven or hell? He was my friend. I can't deal with this. He was only 25. Almost 26. And so close to christmas.
- Pets Not Working
- Just makes me cry more.
- Prayer Somewhat Helpful
- I don't know. Its making me question myself and my beliefs. Where is he? Heaven or hell? I can't bear to think about it.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Friends are what I need. Its too hard to deal with alone.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Just makes me cry
