Journal Entry for November 13, 2008
November 13, 2008 3:07pm
Progress
35 %
Goal End Date is Jun 14, 08 173 days ago.
happiness (mood)
8
lilmskeys’s Profile
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About Me
disabled, retired out at 38 due to a serious accident. Music is my main passion as I sing, write and play a Korg Trition LE...it's awesome and I love to create new sounds. I have been isolated from normal activities due to yet another surgery to remove 3 lipoma tumors from my lower back. Two of them were as large as baseballs. I went paralyzed through the last part before surgery. Wow! What an experience. I now understand what its like for others. I'm better now though. I'm in physical therapy and the gal is very good, so I'm having good results rather quickly. It's a bummer to have scars all over me but I'll take the scars any day over what I went through.
Interests
I am a caring person by nature and enjoy reading, being in nature, exercising in water, bird watching, photography and church functions, backyard barbecues and I'm pretty much up for anything if I think my body can handle it. Music is my number one passion and talent. I love to sing and play my keyboard. I enjoy creating new sounds, ideas, songs I've written...yet to be heard. I've always been an aspiring recording artist. I'm not far, I can feel it. I also enjoy reading inspiring books. I could use all the help I can get and I'm not too proud to say so! I'm interested in writing a book so that's somewhere on the horizon as well. I really need to get going on it while the weather is good and my body is stronger. God I wish it could stay this way all year round. Where is the best place for people like us to live I wonder? Palm Springs maybe? It has to be where the barometric pressure doesn't flucuate because THAT is what makes my body hurt. I can always forecast the weather in the wintertime before the weatherman. I'm interested in learning from others here. I read alot of stories and find it so touching and inspiring. This really is a very powerful website that I wish I had found a long long time ago. But I'm here now so I plan to make the best of it. I am determined to heal as much as is possible from ALL the traumas I've been through. The worst is behind me now. I am moving forward. I felt stuck for sooo long. I wish everyone here love and healing.
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Recent Activity
Tuesday
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lilmskeys gave TennesseeKidd a hug 7:01pm
thank you and right back at ya!!!…
November 25
November 24
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lilmskeys gave MandieGrace a shout out 9:14pm
Mandie..I know how you feel sweetie but hang in there as I will be getting my power cord for my laptop…
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lilmskeys gave TennesseeKidd 9:11pm
Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving to you my dear friend!!! Thank you for thinking of me, makes me feel warm…
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Journal
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I am off ALL prescription meds now!!!
November 13, 2008 3:07pm
To all my friends and anyone who reads this I want to tell you all that I am completely now weaned off of ALL prescription medications, which were …
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One day at at a time
October 1, 2008 1:20am
Well I haven't been able to keep up with the site and the groups as of late since I started the outpatient program to quit smoking …
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more venting
September 19, 2008 2:50pm
AFter waking up today and processing that Dr app with a PA mind you,,,I have reconciled in my mind that my back IS ok,,,but as far as there being no …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Moment of Peace
This will put a smile on your face... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzR...
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hugsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss and lovessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss and prayerssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Hug
Hugs for Monday, have a lovely day today.
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Hug
hugssssssssssssssssssssssss
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Hug
I hope this thanksgiving finds you blessed - Mandie
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Fibromyalgia
oh God I wish I had the strength right now but at the end of the day my body freezes up on me and I'm done..fell on a stage at a church in 96 breaking my left pelvis, surgery to fuse it in 98 and FM and Myofascial Pain both came out fullblown afterwards and I've been very ill ever since. I try to have courage every day, but it's hard, because my husband left me for another woman, two of my three grown children have mistreated me and have nothing to do with me. I am left with empty dreams.
Treatments
- Aqua Therapy Working / Worked
- After a workout in the water a sit in the hot tub was very therapeutic for me.
- Heat Working / Worked
- I have a ThermaFor which is a brand name for a heating pad that covers the entire spine..it's moist heat and covered by MediCal...
- Morphine Working / Worked
- I am trying to get by on 60 mg of MS Contin currently. Yes it definitely helps.
- Neurontin Working / Worked
- This is a must for the nerve pain as my legs jerk and do whatever they want to without it. It's been very helpful to me.
- TENS Working / Worked
- For the pain and nerve damage in lower back and down legs and in feet. It seems to help.
- Valium Working / Worked
- On occasion when Im really stiff I will take a 10mg Valium in the evening.
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I'm a survivor of multi traumas. I survived my ex leaving me for another woman after i got sick. Raped and hit by a drunk driver both within 3 wks of one another in 2001. Got into an abusive relationship and it took 3 yrs to get away from him. I don't know how to go out of the house now and make any friends. I've been wracked with severe injuries so I've been bedridden and alone.
Treatments
- EMDR Working / Worked
- Just a couple of sessions so i don't know if it worked or not.
- Music Working / Worked
- I play my keyboard and it helps alot.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I've gotten 16 sessions of counseling and am in the process of getting more with a new therapist that I think will be the best one yet for me!
- Reading Working / Worked
- I believe in educating oneself. I am always reading, researching, learning...
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- Did not work at all, only took for a couple days, bad reaction.
Open Accidents
I've had several serious accidents so at 38 they retired after the worst one, where I fell on a stage (singer) seperating my left pelvis at the sacral joint so had to have a fusion 2 yrs after being bedridden and addicted to narcotics. Surgery brought out the FMS/CFIDS/PTSD and other traumas too much to mention here! Thanks for consideration!
Treatments
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- still trying and yes it works!
- Morphine Working / Worked
- Ive been on everything from Vicoden to Oxycontin to Fentanyl Duragesic Pain Patches now weaning down on MS Contin after removal of 3 large lipomas in my back two the size of baseballs. Was going paralyzed!
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
Until recently I have suffered "abuse" at the hands of my entire family. I lived in fear and denial for many years of course just using what survival mechanisms I could to cope but there came a day when I couldn't take the abuse anymore! I am now "abuse" free after 50 years.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Working / Worked
- going to start seeing a new therapist who is also a christian like me so I'm hoping for better results, plus I'm motivated. I believe in therapy and have gotten quite a bit for myself.
- Divorce Working / Worked
- Spouse and I broke up after 22 years of marraige in 2001. It wasn't what I wanted at the time but I was in denial at that time. I am now happy to say I'm single and feel better about me as a person.
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- I use the word "surrendering" instead of "forgiveness". For some reason it works for me. Only recently have I been able to truly accomplish this with every person in my life that I needed this to happen with.
- Music Working / Worked
- I'm a musician/keyboardist/songwriter/singer so music has always been therapy for me..
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- already mentioned my plans and yes I believe with the right counselor it does help.
- Talking Working / Worked
- This is why I'm getting counseling and why I like this site.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Walking is great! Swimming even better..I love them both.
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
Drug dependent on MS Contin due to multi traumas to my body...wondering if after going through physical therapy and getting back into the water and the pain subsides could I possibly get off narcotics after 12 long years? Can someone really kick Morhpine AND Oxycontin? Because if it's possible I want to do it! I know I can't do it alone though.
Open Paralysis
I have been dealing with frequent bouts of "paralysis" due to multi-traumas (1 auto accident) where I was rear ended by a drunk driver...(2) assaults but am comfortable sharing only 1 of them at this time...I am in serious condition with frightening symptoms and need to seek answers..I deal with pain and spasms in my mid -back that travels down my lumbar into my legs on down into my feet. They feel heavy, they burn and don't want to move properly...I feel like I need a wheelchair, I live alone.
Treatments
- Patience Working / Worked
- I am on narcotics for pain,,,currently switching back to Oxycontin from Morphine,,,Oxycontin works the best on my pain...I try to meditate on good thoughts, that I'm going to be better one day,,,I only fail when I am in crisis because I don't have anyone to help me out.
- Neurontin Working / Worked
- Works very well for the nerve pain and the muscle twitches in my legs.
Open Back Pain
need research and links and support as to the news today that I have a disc proclusion at T5 6 and it's pressing in toward the spine,,,
Treatments
- Fentanyl Working / Worked
- didn't like the pain patch as it left a scar on my skin...it made my skin raw around the edges but the medicine worked good...you can't use them in warm water either for rapid release reasons and I wanted to try physical therapy so changed to Oxycontin
- Heat Working / Worked
- moist head pad,,yes,,good Thermaphor has one and medicare pays for it..
- Morphine Working / Worked
- Not as good as Oxycontin...
- Valium Working / Worked
- helps when only really needed
Open Rape
Raped twice,,,once as a young teenager,,,a young virgin and then again after my ex left me in 2001, which left me with internal injuries that took forever to heal from...
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- been trying but it's difficult due to the seriousness of my injuries which have had me bedridden for years mostly...with no help or friends.
- Rape Counseling Working / Worked
- Have been trying but I get mad easily and give up because gas is so expensive and the system let me down.
- Talking Working / Worked
- nobody wants to talk about rape..i wish I had someone to talk to about it. I wish people cared and I wish I could be held and just cry,,but my parents are gone now...
Open Hepatitis C
I got a phone call back in 97 from our public health department that I tested positive for both Hep B and C. My Dr sent me to an internist who did some blood work on me and he said my viral load showed nothing. He said sometimes there are people who test false/positive. I need more info. Thanks.
Open Depression Supporters
Recently hospitalized and diagnosed with major depression.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- helps for the moment to cleanse the tears and not hold them back...but if it gets out of control then I know I'm out of balance...or I've hit crisis time...
- Music Working / Worked
- helps alot...
- Talking Working / Worked
- helps me the most...I didn't get to do this as a child..
- Prozac Working / Worked
- working pretty good right now
Open Chronic Pain
I live in pain 24/7 from multiple traumas to my body...the worst being a sexual assault and sacral ileac joint fusion. I wish I could cut off my left leg at the joint and just have one leg because then I would be out of pain. I need support.
Treatments
- Heat Working / Worked
- isn't working anymore.
- Marijuana Working / Worked
- Works well for pain, but does not work well on my mind...it's a depressant and makes me feel anti social...so I am in a program to quit using marijuana...
- Meditation Working / Worked
- helps somewhat.
- Morphine Working / Worked
- gets me out of bed and able to function as best as I can.
- Neurontin Working / Worked
- helps somewhat.
- Oxycodone Working / Worked
- great for breakthrough pain! I only use them if I am pretty bad because I am afraid of addiction.
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- both times it made me worse. I had to stop, because I ended up in the ER in horrifying pain...
- TENS Working / Worked
- Does seem to help if you can stand being hooked up to batteries and wires,,,yuk!
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Snapshot
Recently …
- 1 hug given
- 3 hugs received
- 4 group discusson replies
