KuromiAi's Journal

Well, I sent my mom an email a few minutes ago. Here's what it read:

Hey mom.
 
Um.. Last night you told me to email or call you. I really want to go talk to somebody as soon as possible.
 
I've been trying my best to keep it together but it's still really hard. It's gotten to the point where I feel really uncomfortable being home by myself or being left alone and I feel like a scared little kid all the time and I'm 21 years old... and it's just really embarrassing to even feel that way. And I've been trying to either listen to music, read, draw, watch tv, clean and organize things, basically anything that could possibly take my mind off negative things and it either doesn't work at all and a bunch of thoughts hit me at once and hurl me into a panic attack or I get really pissed off because it's not working and take it out on other people and sometimes myself. I've literally been shaking for an hour now and it's starting to annoy me. I want to go to sleep but I'm listening for the FedEx person. Ugh...
 
Love you

PS. I'm sorry I keep sending you these emails.