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blue22 
I'm doing okay lately. Still living with terrible pain, but managing. It's hard because I have to be really careful not to overpush- if I do, I really pay for it and suffer for a long time. However, if I underpush, then I miss out on so much of life. My illness causes me to miss out on so much of life already- I don't want to miss out on that which I don't have to!
My cousins were up last week, and their eldest (13yrs) daughter stayed with us. I was pretty anxious before she came, but it actually went really well. Tori is a little sweetheart.
We also recently found out that we've been approved to adopt a 6-12 year old girl!!!!!!! This is BIG news. I went through a rocky period where I really struggled with whether adopting was a good idea or not. I struggle so much with my health- why do I think I could be a good mom? However, it went so well with Tori this week, that I feel a lot more peace about the situation now. My physical disability will definately play a role in how I parent- and it will limit what I can do with my child. However, the age that we are adopting will require a lot less physical care than say an infant (who would need me to lift and carry it, push it in a stroller, run after it before it toddled down stairs etc). I will have to rely on my family members for help, and defintely on God's help, strength, and providence.
Here's a poem (or something) that I wrote that says how I feel about becoming a mom
JCHI will not be a "typical" mom. I will not be like all the able-bodied moms who can run in the park with their kids, take them on hours- long shopping trips, and sit for several hours in cramped auditoriums to watch every school play or graduation ceremony. I will not be the mom who pushes her child on a swing, or teaches her to swing a bat. I will not be the mom who-with a flying leap- holds tightly to a krazy karpet and swooshes down the toboggan hill. I won't be the mom who can take her child on elaborate vacations that require hours of sitting on airplanes, and wild amusement park rides. I will not be the mom takes her to movies (I cannot sit in the terrible seats), or who teaches her to drive a car when she is older. Others will have to take on those roles in her life- my husband, and the enormous extended family who already love her and are praying for her. I will have to relinquish those tasks to others. I will be the mom who listens when she is sad- or when she is happy. I will be the mom who reads to her at bedtime, and prays with her before she goes to school- as well as all day long while she is at school. I will be the mom who can run to her school at a moment's notice (my disability forces me to work from home), if I get a call that she's sick. I will be the mom who encourages her, loves her, and guides her. I will be the mom who knows what it is like to walk through hell on earth (because of my chronic pain) and can show her by example how to keep walking, never give up, and find ways to circumvent the obstacles she encounters in her own life. I will be the mom who throws elaborate birthday parties (planning is my forte), and I will be the mom who never ever gives up on her. I will be the mom who teaches her grace under fire, and I will be the mom who pours my heart and soul into her. I will be the mom who will have to rely on God's grace and strength to raise her- because my own strength (especially physically) is so limited. I will be the mom who models to her how to take care of herself- because with my own disability if I do not do that, I end up sick very quickly. I will be the mom who teaches her to look on the bright side of life, to be grateful for every little tiny blessing, and to see yellow where others see only black- my life's rocky path has taught me this. I will be the mom who does her best, but isn't perfect, who isn't strong- but lifts up her child to the One who is.
Comments
Great to see you were approved! congrats on becoming a Mom. All a child needs is love and you have that to give sweet girl. Be well.
Paul
pauly2
Congrats on the adoption approval. Kids are great. I've managed somehow and my life is better for it.
Cares39