Journal

in case you did get through my last entry, go to the support group coming out, you will get a better understanding of where i am coming from

today is the 4th of july, i went to one of my sons, where we all cooked out. it was nice. now everyon is gone so peace at last. my kids dont understand i dont mind alone sometimes, i know they love me, but mercy,it is nice to be in a guiet house! hope everyone had a great day. i  have not be on with some of my friends, but read your journals daily. i have had so many of these young boys on my mind. they are gay, and afraid to come out to their family and friends. i just cant imagine a parent that would not support their child no matter what. yes, it is sometimes hard to  hear as a parent, but i never thought of anything else but how to make sure my son stayed safe, and happy. i was raised in i very strict church of christ way,so i had been taught it was wrong. yet i never felt that way in my heart. i had several gay friends, and after talking to them, and seening the taunts and meaness daily, i have to believe it is not a choice. why would someone put theirselves through the crap gays must go through. i am very proud of my gay son. and do not hesitate to tell them he is gay. that seems kind of stupid when you think about it. i dont have to introduce any of my other 3 kids, then tell people and he is straight! it is a personal thing. i have cried tears for my gay son, but only because i am afraid some stupid person will hurt him, and i could not deal with that. he is my heart, actually has been all his life. he has just always seemed to need me more growing up. i have 4 children and no mother loves one more than the other, they just all have different needs. i have tried to stay in touch as many of these kids as i can, to give them the support and love they should be getting at home. sometimes i really wish i had a way to talk to every person with a gay child, they wont accept. what really scares me is we will lose some of these percious souls to suiside, because they feel they have no other choice. i have tried to tell them God made them gay, and God does not make mistakes. there a immoral people gay or straight. being gay will not send you to hell. we all deserve to find a partner to love and grow old with. when it comes down to it that is all gay people want too. they  deserve rights of somekind, ig they live in a commited relationship for their lives. i may lose friends over this, dont really care. if just one person would stop and think about what our young kids are going through, and try to help or understand in some way. i dont want one more person to die by their own hand because they are ashamed of being gay.  just put yourself in their shoes one day and reach out with love. thanks, if you stayed with me this long. it is just a subject that has been in my heart for awhile. God bless, and only love      sue