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MaMaJoanne 
9:38am, January 23, 2009
I don't understand why the darkness creeps in when you are supposed to be happy. The nights are long and the mind races from one thing to another. Sleep escapes me and I pray for the morning to come. When the light of day finally wakes the birds, I pray again - not wanting to face what the day may bring. Evening comes and I become more and more adjetated as I think of trying to lay my head down to sleep. A vicious dark cycle that goes on and on. Today I have decided to cry out for help! My husband does not understand so he withdraws. I feel all alone with no one to talk to. My tears overwhelm me and what makes it worse is when those you love want you to explain why? If I knew why I felt this way I would fix it myself! Don't ask me why! I don't want to talk about it, I just want to stop feeling this way. Frustrated and tired, lonely and adjetated. I feel like I could just crawl out of my skin!
Comments
hey there, I haven't been around all that much, just caught up on your last 3 entries. First off, sorry about C but congrats for Becky!
This entry, there's not always a way to know what brings on moods like this, but you do have alot of pressures you deal with daily. There's nothing wrong with you and honestly not with your husband either many men pull away when soething is unexplainable to them. Men are fixers and when they can't 'just fix it' they get confused and scared. I can say this feeling will pass, and since it's been a few more days maybe it already has, if though it hasn't, take some deep breathes, try to remember when it started, what were the surrounding circumstances at the time? Look only for the trigger not the 'whole' we can only fix one thing at a time. GL and I'm thinking about you
Chris333