My first article has been published!
March 22, 2009 2:48am
MY ARTICLE ON LIVING WITH CHRONIC PAIN HAS BEEN PUBLISHED!Writing is something I have done since I was able to pick up a pencil. Poetry …
difficultdarling 
1:26am, March 22, 2009
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About Me
difficultdarling
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About Me
Grieving my old life - seeking a support system. I'll update as I'm able. Thanks for your patience, I look forward to actually being able to share the real ME with people who understand and are experiencing similar circumstances, symptoms, moods, etc.
Grieving my old life - seeking a support system. I'll update as I'm able. Thanks for your patience, I look forward to actually being able to share the real ME with people who understand and are experiencing similar circumstances, symptoms, moods, etc.
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Interests
Depends on what day you ask me!
Depends on what day you ask me!
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Journal
This entry is private
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This entry is private
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Journal Entry for March 10, 2009
March 10, 2009 12:36am
Changing my goal from such a "blanket" statement is required! Sometimes overthinking gets the best of me and I just encompass every …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
Very cool avatar! That is you isn't it?
I’m With You
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Thanks that really means a lot to me
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Hug
thanks so much its something im trying to work on, and believe me its not easy
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Just wanted to say "Hello"....
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Fibromyalgia
Was diagnosed in 2000, but hardly anyone supported me outside of my Dr. and husband, so I stopped sharing and hid my pain.
Treatments
- Acupressure Working / Worked
- Very helpful - if done correctly
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- Had to drag me kicking and screaming but it works as far as calming and relaxing
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- After years of trying many different forms of treatment, this is something that has enabled me to obtain a better quality of life! I am looking forward to my future after years of my condition being misunderstood.
- Effexor Not Working
- This made me worse. Depression and suicidal tendencies - it wasn't monitored at all
- Guaifenesin Working / Worked
- I took this upon advice from my friends and my doctor. For the worst of my sinus headaches, this often does the tricks. My side effects generally last for an hour. Drink plenty of water when you take this!
- Heat Working / Worked
- Takes the edge off back pain
- Morphine Working / Worked
- Was on it, when I wanted to taper off, my doctor denied my request and then ended up taking me off suddenly with no warning and no counseling after being on it for over 2 years - it may have helped, but I will not resort to the judgment it brings. Side effects were sleepiness
- Neurontin Not Working
- Had allergic reaction - swelled up and pain worsened
- Physical Therapy Not Working
- Exacerbates muscle spasms and creates a spiral effect (often leading to migraine and vomiting)
- TENS Not Working
- Exacerbated anywhere used back/neck
- Vitamin D Working / Worked
- This is amazing! I believed this has changed my life! Please read my journal entry titled DOSES OF SUNSHINE. I am open to answering ANY questions about my Vitamin D deficiency!
- Writing Working / Worked
- I write as I must breathe. It is an amazing coping mechanism on so many levels I encourage everyone to do this as often as possible!
Close Migraine Headaches
I have had migraines WITH and WITHOUT auras for nearly 30 years. This is one of many conditions I have that is frightfully misunderstood - I am a chronic sufferer and am open to discuss my experiences. I am incredibly intuitive as far as what TYPE of headache I am experiencing as pain and I go way back.
Treatments
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- Takes the edge off providing relaxation without side effects. I would have to say, I am indebted to my acupuncturist for her help. Ask me, I can reffer you to THE BEST (in Austin, Texas!)
- Aspirin Not Working
- Allergic
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked
- YES! I avoid alcohol - too much grease and potatos and artificial sweetners. Be wary as some food labels SAY no sweetners, but when you check the list of ingredients, you find things as obscure as Erythritol. I take care to pay attention, read labels, and if necessary - DO RESEARCH!
- Caffeine Working / Worked
- Yes! Nearly always helpful.
- Fioricet Working / Worked
- Yes! Nearly always helpful, ESPECIALLY with neck related tension and spasms
- Imitrex Somewhat Helpful
- This is a big if. If I take it at the right time and have the ability to sleep it off. Pills, shots, "the pen"... all have different side effects - all make me queasy and sleepy. I don't use Imitrex anymore.
- Magnesium Working / Worked
- When given to me in iv form for acute migraines, it benefits me. I am unable to tolerate this in a supplement (pill) form.
- Maxalt Somewhat Helpful
- The dissolvable "wafers" are helpful but the timing had to be just right. Being unable to have more control over the dose (sometimes less is best) I have opted to no longer use this medication.
- Midrin Working / Worked
- worked YEARS ago for about 3 months and then all of a sudden it stopped
- Naproxen Working / Worked
- Used to work, but does not anymore.
- Remeron Working / Worked
- Zomig Somewhat Helpful
- Makes me sleepy and nauseated... it is nearly useless
- Remeron Working / Worked
- This medication is NOT typically used for MIGRAINEShoweverfor mea very small dose allows sleep through the worst. Helps me avoid frequenting the E.R. and suffering additional stress in an uncomfortable environment. Even my pharmacist was surprised but understood the benefits of this medication for my severe migraines as many medications are used for other maladies other than what they were designed.
Open Depression
My story is too long to fit into a box. After being diagnosed with depression years ago - I'm looking for support instead of accusations and misunderstandings. I am available for anyone who wants to share.
Treatments
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- After YEARS of various medications because of the misdiagnosis of being either JUST depressed or having manic depression, I have finally found a medication that has worked well enough for me for everyone to notice a positive difference. This was prescribed by my Endocrinologist and works well to help cope with my physical pain.
- Effexor Not Working
- This medication caused me to feel suicidal and nauseated. The dosage was NOT monitored. I am no longer taking this medication.
- Elavil Not Working
- Having taken Elavil with sleepiness being ONE of the side effects, Cymbalta is a combination drug, being the good parts of amitriptyline and part Flouxetine/Prozac. While the two separate meds did not work for me, the good parts are great for me! Even in the LOWEST DOSE!
- Meditation Working / Worked
- The right attitude helps - if my thinking is that it WILL work then it does - STATE OF MIND! :)
- Paxil Not Working
- Did not experience any change with this medication. The dosage was adjusted accordingly however it was NOT monitored with blood tests. I am no longer taking this medication.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Negative self talk has always been something I battle. Being able to recognize when I am in "shut down" mode is important. It is up to me to take control of my thought process as the power of thoughts is deeply important in coping with depression.
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- Prozac was a popular medication for anyone who was diagnosed with depression. I took this for years with very little effect. Thank goodness Cymbalta was discovered as a combination medication and one of the positive parts of Prozac IS part of Cymbalta!
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Everytime I ever went to a therapist, I was always told "you know what your problems are" - well, I might KNOW what my problems are but I NEED HELP - and I was unable to find the right therapist to HELP me face the actual problems. Over the years, I have gotten past needing this form of treatment, as my suicidal thoughts became less of a threat. When I feel this way (which is RARE) I know to talk to someone I can trust who will listen and help me work through it.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- After attempting to share my issues about my mental and physical health received negative reactions from some people I trusted deeply, I shut down completely from sharing my pain with nearly everyone with the exception of my husband. While continuing to reexamine painful relationships and the effect they have had on me, I am attempting to remain open yet cautiously optimistic. Receiving love and support is imperative to healing in all ways!
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking, like writing (and breathing) is something I love to do! If you know me, you know that I can talk and talk (and write and write!) Talking helps me to HEAR my thoughts and I can count on the people I share personal issues with to simply listen or provide me with advice or to have someone ask me questions about a particular matter that I may have not thought of. Talking it out is great therapy!
- Trazodone Not Working
- This medication made me feel like a zombie, no matter how low the dosage. It is not for me. I slept so much while on this and disliked how I felt when I was awake. I am no longer taking this medication.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- This medication made me nearly catatonic - unable to feel emotion, it was scary. It has been years since I have taken this, but the experience of what it did to me has made me never want to try it again. I AM NO LONGER TAKING THIS MEDICATION!
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writing is how I help myself, and it works well. Even though I don't share everything, writing enables ME to work things out on my own. I believe that this has helped me tremendously as I love to write, even for fun! Writing provides an outlet like nothing else can for me!
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- Worked for awhile, but then it stopped, I am no longer taking this medication.
Open Hysterectomy
Years of endometriosis and the discovery of tumors and cysts led to the decision to have everything removed. I will post a letter to the doctor that was written about this back in 2006. Please see my profile and ask for further information.
Treatments
- Estradiol Working / Worked
- Within the first 24 hours of switching to this in GEL form I noticed an immediate difference as did my extremely patient husband. I am pleased to say that after a few months I have not experienced any side effects. This has been a roller coaster ride for me as Ive spent the years since my hysterectomy seeking a solution for my HRT issues! HAPPY JOY JOY! Ask me and I will be happy to share! Anyone going through this will understand why I am jumping up and down with joy!
- Estratest Somewhat Helpful
- This was actually HS half strength and I was still experiencing extreme side effects. Hot flashes so violent I had to sit down or I would faint from the internal combustion feeling migraines constant auras that never developed into anything except causing me to shut down nausea lethargy and everything awful that goes with surgical menopause. After finally seeing an endrocrinologist I received the proper HRT and am happier than ever!
- Estrogen Patch Working / Worked
- The doses of the Vivelle-Dot varied as my side effects were all over the map. Ranging from lethargy, severe mood swings, hot flashes, and sleeplessness my OBGYN put me on Estratest. Yeah, that was another "fun" experience. Read on! I am no longer on this medication - after working for a year, it stopped being effective.
- Laparoscopic Surgery Working / Worked
- This was a surgery performed several times over a 15 year stretch to relieve my endometriosis as my symptoms were severe as other medications did not work. This was a last resort in the various ways my endometriosis was addressed.
- Premarin Not Working
- I was unable to tolerate even the lowest dose and why may I ask does any doctor think it is remotely okay for a woman to ingest HORSE URINE? What might be great for the horse, is NOT good for me!
- Estradiol Working / Worked
- Within the first 24 hours of switching to this in GEL form I noticed an immediate difference as did my extremely patient husband. I am pleased to say that after a few months I have not experienced any side effects. This has been a roller coaster ride for me as Ive spent the years since my hysterectomy seeking a solution for my HRT issues! HAPPY JOY JOY! Ask me and I will be happy to share! Anyone going through this will understand why I am jumping up and down with joy!
Open Adoption
I was adopted at infancy and have had the opportunity to meet my birthmother as an adult even though it was a closed adoption. I have also met my half birth brother.
Treatments
- Laughter Working / Worked
- The talk shows have portrayed meeting a birth parent for the first time as sunshine and smiles. What about after 6 months of having gotten to know one another? What do you do when the situation become too emotionally draining? I still have moments of WHY things happened the way they did, however, I am a better person for it all and have learned every person whether adoptee, adopter, birth parent, or birth sibling all have unique experiences to share.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking and writing about my experiences and my feelings continue to help me sort through the jumbled thoughts in my head. I love who I am but the journey to get here has not been easy. Adoption was not a problem the people involved were the difficult part that has caused some personal struggles.
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