Jakobsmommyalways's Journal

We had Jakob's second Birthday yesterday.  We had a great party for him Friday night, and had a good show of friends and family lending support.  There were tears, but it was such an amazing feeling knowing we had so many people who still think about him, support us, and support us allowing his memory to live on through our actions.  we released 59 balloons, it was beautiful.  We had a cake that some of our friends (who is like my sister and brother) payed for the cake which had a monkey angel on it.  And yesterday we finally completed the sandbox for his gravesite.  my husband worked on it for about a month, he hand shaved the logs with a drawing knife, an old school tool.  Then he carved them to fit together and made pegs to hammer down into them.  then hand chizzled out his name and stained his name.  I want to put up pics but it wont let me.  I am so dissapointed.  It was hard this weekend.  Expecially considering we had Jason's little cousins birthday party last night, on Jakobs birthday.  He should have been opening his presents, and it was just hard.  I held it together.  I didnt want anyone feeling sorry for me, but man was it a slap in the face.  I know they didnt mean to make me feel like that.  Probably didnt even think about it, but it still hurt.  I am ok today, so happy the sandbox is done, and his gravesite is beautiful now!  And it gives me some peace.  And Jason got to do something special for Jakob, since he never met him, he never got to give anything to him.  I am tired.  Took a pill for my back, going to try to rest.  It has been an emotionally exhausting weekend.  But I did talk to Kathy, which helped so much.  Just to talk to someone who understand, what a blesing.  Thanks Kathy, you are such a blessing! And I appreciate you!