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Jakobsmommyalways 
1:54am, August 23, 2009
Well, we made it. Two years since I have held my baby now. And I am doing ok. I wont say it gets easier, only more routine. It was hard not having Jason here this year, him being in Iraq sucks. I miss my boys so much, not having Jakob here, and now Jason is gone too. we met at the gravesite and released balloons, then came back to the house for dinner and cake. I hope he enjoyed our balloons, and the fact that we honored him. I miss him more now than I did two years ago, but knowing I can get through the day without sobbing without control. I know I have not been on here a lot lately, but I am so busy with doc apts. Dylan, trying to get rest, the dog...and all of the stuff jason does I just dont have time. I should be in bed now. Actually I am heading there now. Lots of love to you all, and thanks.
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So, as if getting through Jakob's second Angel Day, Jason being gone, and taking care of Dylan is not enough to stress about...heh. I have to have surgery on my kidney. I will try to explain this the best I can with what info I have. I had two tests done last week. One was a CT with contrast, the other was some radioactive test. The radioactive test showed my kidney (the right one) is functioning at 1% out of 100%. Which would explain all of my back pain for the past two years. The doc said it is a birth defect, common, sometimes never gives anyone any problems. So, the CT scan he said looked like a semi functioning kidney, and should have been more than 1%, they contridict eachother basically. As of right now they have me getting a robotic procedure to repair the blockage from the malformed valve that will not allow my kidney to drain into my bladdeer. If he gets in there and can not repair it, it will have to be removed and I will have a large incision. The doctor is waiting for the radiologist to confirm that it is infact functioning at 1% then we will make a decision on where to go from there. I can either get it removed, or I can have the doctor put in a stent. Hope it opens the valve up and it drains properly. Have the tests run again 6 weeks later and if it is functioning well, then I am good to go. If it is not working, then I have to go back in for surgery and have the kidney removed. I will update as soon as I get an update. I will be in the hospital with either of the surgerys for at least 3 days. Which means I cant see Dylan, they are not allowing anyone under the age of 18 to visit patients. Pray we get all of this figured out, taken care of, and I am all better soon. The surgery, whichever one it is will be done by the 14th of October. Thanks, much love to you all, and God bless.
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learn to live again
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forgive
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oh my goodness. you will be in my prayers. Just so much to have to go through without your husband around... HUGS!
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UGH! Sorry that you are going throug so much.I hope they get it working. You will be in my prayers for a speedy recovery. Hugs,cynthia
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Well, it's done, he is gone, and I am ok. Not good, just ok. I dont think this ever gets easier, just more routine. I miss him so much already, I have not slept in three days now, I am exhausted. But anticipating a phone call any minute to hear his voice. He is in Kuwait for two weeks, then off to Iraq for a year. It sucks. I am dealing with this case for Jakob, which is going forward, but still a lot to deal with, I am taking care of Mr. Dylan, going to try to go to school, and keeping up with all of the finances and everything by myself. I miss his arms around me already. I have been so busy, and will definately be busy now that he is gone. I dont get time a lot to get on here, so I try to update whhen I can. I put up a few new pics. I didnt upload all of them, but I got a couple up. Love you all, please send prayers. God bless
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Oh Honey, I'm sorry. I'm a teacher at an Air Force Base so I see this type of situation all the time. Just stay busy and treat yourself to a spa day, you deserve it. HUGS!!!
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oh my. I will keep him in my prayers. You military wives are so strong.
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oh honey, i'm amazed by your strength. I'll keep your hubby in my thoughts
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so sorry sweetie!
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I am a phone call away hunny luv ya
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I'll will be praying for you both. I'd like to thank you and him for his service. Hang in there. God Bless, Cynthia
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was a m ilitary wife once and it was pure hell when they'd go away and leave us with everything to deal with..but you can do it hang in there..
Past Entries
Goal Updated
Happy 2nd birthday Jakob. Sorry you have been without him for two years. I hope today is peaceful. I'm sure he is so proud of you honoring him. Jason is in my prayers. Hugs and God Bless, Cynthia
crwtom
HAPPY SECOND ANGLE DAY BABY JACOB.MAKE SURE YOU WATCH OVER MOMMY AND MAKE SURE DADDY GETS BACK SOON AND SAFE.
EMMASDADDY
I'm glad you made it, consider the balloons kisses to heaven, that's what i tell people
Moosesmom
Glad you are doing OK, hon. I'm sure Jakob is sending you lots of angel hugs and kisses right now. HUGS.
Sienasmom
Glad you are doing okay since it's been 2 years.
HeathD