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kellie81 
4:46am, September 12, 2009
Well, I have been doing my college course now for nearly 5 weeks and OMG it is so tireing, but so much fun at the same time, this time last year I never thought I would even be able to feel happy again but I do, I know I still have a long way to go as far as my illness is concerned but I am getting there..the anxiety plays me up once in a while but I have 2 amazing friends on my course..1 of them I have known for 17 years and suffers from mental health issues himself and the other one is such a sweet girl who is always there for me if I am feeling down, she hasnt had any mental health issues herself but is always ready to help and listen if I need her too..If I feel down and feel like giving up she's always there to geer me on..I love all aspects of the course we have written stuff to do as well as the practical side of things and I really throw myself into it all..I miss my kids when I am there so that makes me appreciate them more..my relationship is still having some problems and I try so hard to tell him what I need but I guess men just don't listen and don't really take our needs into consideration.
well, yesterday was my first day at college and my anxietys were so high when I first got there but as soon as I got into the swing of things and met my fellow students I fit right in..My friend who I was starting with is also in the same group as me so that made it much easier to cope with..the college is celebrating world mental heath day on the 10th of October so I'm hoping to get involved in that too..I can't believe how tired I was when I got home from college yesterday, I was so used to sitting on my bum at home wallowing in my own self pity at my diagnoses'..Is this the turning point for me?..Have I finally accepted my diagnoses' and who I am, or do we never accept it and just make the most of what we have..answers on a postcard please..lol
Well, today I just bit the bullet and enrolled on a hairdressing course and I am SOOOOOO excited..I only decided to do it 2 days ago but I knew if I ept contemplating it that I wouldn't go ahead and do it..Mark will be staying at home with the girls so I don't have to worry about leaving them with strangers..I start a week on Monday and it couldn't come sooner..I do 3 days a week so I think I can handle that, and the student services there are great..I know they will help if I have any problems..I'm doing it with my friend Mattie who has paranoid scitzophrenia (sp?) he is also gay so he understands about problems and things..We are really excited and we had our mugshots taken for our student cards..We came out of college feeling really positive, I'm hoping that it will also help towards my goal of getting fit and losing weight..I feel like the world is my oyster today..Am I heading for a huge fall??
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O I am so excited for you! I went to Cosmotology school a few years ago, I didn't make it through because of my anxiety...but the time I did have there I had a blast. I ended up going to nursing school this year instead. But if I hadn't done that I would have went back to Cos school for sure. I think you made an awesome choice and you will do great! And having a friend with you will definetely make it easier! Good for you =] Be happy with yourself!
tabbyann
thank you hun..I'm so excited..my friends arn't so excited for me though, they keep saying I won't stick at it and it's just because I'm going through a manic phase in my life, I'm not going to let them get me down though,,hope you are having a nice weekend xx
kellie81
this is fantastic news and i wish you all the luck snd fun as well because it will be. sounds like your friend is great. i think it is a really positive move, go girl, its a lot easier when you hve someone with you to help support you along the way but if you find you dont like it, its all good experience, so dont get too down theres always something else out there waiting with your name on it. good luck, bye for now, good luck precious let us know how you get on big hugs bye for now astrid40xoxo
astrid40