nicolou's Journal

 nics rant... part 1...

im writing this in hope i can look back at it in a few days and say "panic over!".. "false alarm!"

i have been well in myself and living life to the full for a few months now, still using all my positive thinking techniques and breathing.. i eventually weaned myself off the 40mg proprananol in the afternoon and the same at night (just taking my morning fix!!) and was still feeling great!

over the last week i have been able to feel the morning anxiety setting back in.. i refuse to bow to it and have carried on.. only, im getting slightly concerned that its going to get a grip of me again! (which proberly proves im letting my positive thinking lapse a little!!)

i have to get back on track.. i dont want to feel the washer tummy, sickness, headaches, crying spells, dizzyness or all the other crap that comes with anxiety!

i have just called my doctor for my prescription for proprananol so from tomorrow will start taking 40mg 3 times a day again instead of just the one!! im feeling its a bit like... anxiety -1, nicola-0.. but i refuse to be beat!.. i refuse to get back to a point where i feel like im dying, or that i want to die!! im prepared to take a small step backwards in the hope it will enable me to take a massive leap forward!

watch this space!! love to everone, nic x