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lindamae 
5:05pm, October 18, 2009
This morning, first thing, my granddaughter, Mazie called. She wanted to be certain that I am going to be on the train this afternoon. Evidently, when I had to cancel because of being so ill, she fell apart. She said, "I couldn't stop crying Grand-mom, 'cause we'd planned on this for so long." Made me feel good to know how important our relationship is. Also is a little worrisome to think that she will have to be dealing with my death...who knows how soon. At least I won't be here to feel her pain. That may sound selfish, but it's part of the price one pays for such a special relationship.
Mazie is so funny. She expects that I can do anything, in any amount of time. I told her I was bringing down the sweater that I had knit for Tilly, her sister, and she said, "and what about mine?" I told her..."you are so much bigger, it takes longer!" So her reply, "Could you work on it a bit before you leave for the train today!!!" She is such a funny little soul. I can't begin to say how she brightens up my world.
I will try to post a photo that I have...my favorite of when I was pretty bald and Mazie was a toddler.
Perhaps the move to Florida will be a good thing in terms of separation. I am starting to have my doubts that I can achieve that goal...of moving. With so much to do and changing all my medical too. Guess I don't sound too confident this morning. Woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn't seem to stop thinking and getting back to sleep.
This is like my "fret" board...today. Well, I need to finish packing my bags. I want to stop to buy some fimo clay on the way to the train station. I mentioned to Mazie and she, Tilly and I could try to make some beads. Will take some photos too.
many hugs and more, lindamae
Comments
What a wonderful relationship you have with your grandchildren. Almost enviable to me. I will never have that type of relationship with mine. I have never complained about this before, but Sara's Mother is so involved in their lives, it leaves me on the side lines. I cannot see them on the weekends because they are with them. I have to make an appointment to go up on a weeknight to see them for a couple of hours. Breaks my heart. But as you say, if or when I should leave this world, they won't miss me so much. Sorry to whine. Love and hugs, Anita
anitaama
you do have a special connection with your girls--I know the feeling, I think, from my few "soulmates" here. those relationships keep me going when I feel like living in bed. re-thinking "moving" sounds reasonable but, that's your call. I just had my cousin Todd and his Chinese lizard (Bruce) move in with me to help defray costs, and it may even work out into an arrangement so I do not have to sell my house at this time. I want to enjoy where I am a whole lot longer. Will be thinking of you and Mazie, and the other one too. Enjoy. love,
r&s
RhodaM
Dear Lindamae
I think that you and Mazie sound like "soulmates".Have a wonderful visit with her and try not to dwell too much on the future, especially trying to separate yourself from her. Live each day to the fullest because presently you are alive and well...
Lots of love and strength.
xxLinda
Lindaheff
Dear Lindamae, It's awful when the "dark night of the soul" visits in the middle of the night and we end up traveling to places that make us sad. I think I can handle anything but the sorrow of my family. Even contemplating this tears me apart. So, we do all we can to fight this beast. I know being with the girls will be a wonderful tonic and being sick helps us appreciate these moments even more. Much love, Janet
IUPUI
You are a wonderful, practical person that is making the very best of your life while you also bring such happiness to others. You make me smile. (((hugs))) Patricia
SadTime