Journal

I love you all, and thank you so much for all of your support! I won't mention names, as I feel that would not be what they wanted, but you know who you are, and know I love you much!

So, the Lights Are On,Nobody Home - in case some of you don't do text speak! I am learning, a novice at what apparently is a potentially lucrative thing- some 14 yo won $50K just lately! Wow - I would truly have nothing better to do to get so good I could text the Gettysburg Address in textspeak - shoot, I don't even know all of it in English! Maybe I should look it up though, just to remind myself of the struggles and freedoms we have here. What spoiled,whiney ppl so many of us are! I know I am- even with the problems we have, the water we drink is clean,we have a brick house to live in, and while we don't own it, we are holding on! I have so much more than so many others in the world - on a global perspective, we are rich- even our tiny house is extravagant in size compared to middle class, or I guess I should say working class in Europe, and unimaginable in Darfur and many other places I have been to and worked in. I have worked in refugee camps, made visits to people in cardboard houses from refrigerator and other appliance boxes. I myself have lived through poorer times, and even I complain now of silly things - the price of gasoline, for one, or the cost of organic blackberries fgs! What am I tinking? People are dying in countries around the world, their yearly income is what I have im my wallet right now, and it isn't much.

So today, take the spirit of Hawk to yourself - allow ypurself to see the bigger picture and give something you deem precious away to a person who has less - you will be amazed at what will come back to you for your effort.

A daughter update for those of you who are interested - she says she feels better and less "fuzzy", so that is good I guess. The Order of Protection was FINALLY filed - I have no ideas on what took her so long, but her husband is exmilitary, so perhaps that will serve to have him follow the order - I hope so. She remainsin their apartment - will not go to a shelter- so be it, we will see what happens when the landlord and power company come calling - I can't help her out, and don't want anyone else to either. This time she does it on her own.Please do send her your heart and courage to overcome and triumph.

Blessings, Star )O( 

                                                         Please, please , no matter how bad yopu feel about your situation, cry for Neda - if you do not knowof her yet, the sights of the vids will be life changing for you! Join with Neda and raise loud your voice that she did not die in vain, but as a martyr for her cause! Her name means "the calling",. In Islam there is nothing higher than to die as a martyr! We take our freedom to speak for granted, but THIS is what it takes for proplr to br free - many times blood running in the streets....would you be as brave? Please let me know!

I hope you all had a Blessed Summer Solstice - the Spirits are with us and Bless us ALL for another Turn of the Wheel!!

Blessings,

Star )O( 

A couple of journals back, I made the statement that I understood why people commit suicide.... an understanding, for me, is a good thing, but I never intended that anyone who knows me well would think I would a) think it an honorable death, and b) would hate that Karma to face. My sincere apologies to any who had a worry thata that was a serious concern - I would never leave my Chloe and Gavin that way, much less my daughter, husband, sister... and all of you too.And besides, which of you thinks I am not a smart enough nurse to have it ruled natural causes - tsk, tsk! So no worries bout that,ok? If you hear I am gone, it will not be by my hand,k?

   I hear from Sarah today that she is ok today and"getting things done" whatever the **** that means. I just wish I were there to help her, hold her, let her cry and scream and kick the wall or whatevwer she and Gavin need. GG he needs so many hugs and kisses, and stories, toys, books, And I can't even send him paper and crayons... it makes me cry.

Ok, goin to bed now - I am tired, so, so tired. One piece of news - I am down to 123 lbs now - that is almost 70 pounds I have lost in 6 months - no,more like a year. And I eat at least once a day...sort of. Anyway, that's another 5 pounds this week alone, and I have hardly done more than Tweet and breathe - oh, follow me there and on Facebook too - cute new pic of Chloe up !

Blessings,

Star )O(